How to Deal With Delusional People

When I talk to people about my research on
self-awareness, one thing they always ask is how to deal with the delusional people
in their lives. Of course, not all unaware people are equal;
sometimes they are amusing, other times they try our patience, and still other times they
can be an endless source of stress and heartache. And even though we can’t force people to
become self-aware, there are many things we can do to reduce their impact on us, and in some
cases, we can help them. My research has revealed three types of un-aware people. The first is what I call he Lost Cause. In my book, INSIGHT, I tell the story of a man named Robert who has a hopelessly deluded coworker, Maria. Despite Robert’s repeated attempts to give
her feedback, Maria clings to her delusion with a righteous, unshakable zeal. You might know someone like this too. Because they already see themselves as close
to perfect, Lost Causes don’t listen to feedback, and it’s usually pointless to
give it. But there are ways to manage our dealings
with them—more on that in a moment. The second type are the Aware Don’t Care. If the lost causes have no self-knowledge
and no motivation to acquire it, the Aware Don’t Care know the impact they’re having,
but they behave that way anyway. Why? They usually think their counterproductive and often
borderline-abusive behavior is helping them get what they want. And therein lies their delusion. We rarely if ever can force Lost Causes and
the Aware Don’t Case to be less delusional. But we CAN change our own mindset and our own reactions. One tip is something I call the Laugh Track. Many years ago, I worked for an Aware Don’t
Care boss, and was at the end of my rope. One day after a particularly bad verbal lashing, I randomly recalled the Mary Tyler Moore Show, which is one of my favorites. Mary’s boss was a surly man named
Lou Grant, played Ed Asner, who was hotheaded on a good day
and abusive on a bad one. But because his lines were followed by
a canned laugh track, they became comical and even endearing. “Wait a minute. If I can reach, YOU can reach.” So when I started to imagine a laugh track behind what he said, my boss became surprisingly more bearable (and occasionally, hilarious). But are there any delusional people that we
can impact, at least to a degree? Enter The Nudgeable. These people genuinely want to be better—they
just don’t know they need to change. And when feedback to them is delivered well, they
can be surprisingly open it. I believe that most unaware people are at
least somewhat Nudgable. In INSIGHT, I talk about strategies to confront
the Nudgable with compassion and help them see themselves far more clearly.

53 Replies to “How to Deal With Delusional People

  1. Yeah …not the first time to hear someone claim their boss is delusional, just as they are narcissistic, bipolar, low iq, low eq, psychopathic and whatnot. I sp totally believe your perception of him to be reliable.

  2. my abusive boyfriend suffers from delusions, he likes to rewrite past history according to his delusions making himself the victim instead of seeing himself for the true abuser that he was. for the most part he is self aware but he has a constant tendency reconstruct the past in order to fit his perspective of himself. Instead of actually remembering everything that happened and and being accountable. either he has no true long-term memory or he is 100% delusional

  3. If a person can't see how reality works, then they are definitely not in touch with reality. If you can't discover entirely on your own the phenomena that is today described under the title of Einstein's theory of Special Relativity(SR), then you are way way way detached from reality itself ! If a psychiatrist can't describe to you how to create the universe, then obviously the psychiatrist is miles away from being in touch with reality itself. If a person claims to know how to do so, and everyone responds by saying that the person is full of it, then everybody is demanding that we must be stupid and that we must remain stupid.

  4. My father suffer Delusional Disorder we live in a joint family. he abuse and beat my mother and sister daily all the time he is looking at us suspiciously and he is worry and afraid from other people all the time he cannot sleep complitly we cannot aforred a doctor for him please help me please if you can just give me a replay treatment or medicine thanks

  5. Are you serious with this title? For someone who believes they are intelligent and educated enough to be making these type of videos, I am disgusted by your own lack of awareness. Your use of the term "delusional people" is extremely offensive to people who actually do suffer from delusions due to mental health issues. Just as offensive as calling a stupid person "retarded". "delusional people", as in people who suffer from mental health issues, should never be compared to, or put in the same catagory as the people you describe. You should be ashamed of yourself. As someone who has a family member that suffers from this, your title and choice of words in this video, sicken me.

  6. My gosh this lady is a narcissist . I thought this was a parody ,a joke as it was so incredibly judgemental and narcissistic. Wow

  7. So your using the biggest god damned delusion of all to use on someone YOU say is delusional? Hows that work now? Smelly vision tells you what to think and the people you call delusional probably don't like television which is why you don't relate to them and as far as harming you and the impact that they have on you ( you selfish whore) they're the ones suffering and unable to hack this sick ass society and your the one able to cope with it by using the fucking television! Those who can be well adjusted to this shit today are people that are REALLY fucked up. People like you that think they are the normal ones because Mary tyler moore told you so. You do realize that television bears NO resemblance to REAL LIFE right? I mean you speak of delusion but your using it on people who don't fit well in an intrinsically sick society and that make you a whore to the system, a selfish whore who feels that if someone she calls delusional challenges her delusion then its causing harm to her and others.
    I am less concerned for the ones you call hopeless and don't cares than I am for you who thinks herself healthy because her bench mark the Mary Tyler Moore show says so, and if it didn't you wouldnt be using it as a tool in real life. I bet your a Jung Freud right? Those junkies couldn't see past anything that wasn't unhealthy and being unhealthy does not give insight in how to heal mental illness it only identifies it and exacerbates it when applied on these poor people that have better health sense than you do! Its like how you don't send in the virgin to reform the whore house because she just ends up another whore like you. I don't mean you prostitute body I mean its worse your whore out your mind and then yak at everyone else about how much you think you know about eh human condition.

  8. Compassion huh? You know you can compassionately feed someone poison if your delusional enough to think its safe to eat.
    My whole life people have been telling me I'm this or that, brutalizing me scape goating then I came to Christ I read the words and it opened to me then came the religion which made things worse but the Book itself we call the Bible is the greatest help mankind has with it I was able to withstand people like you who said I was sick or a an addict which is funny because I prayed and was able to quit doing the drugs and smoking or anything I want because nothing or no one controls me and here you are acting like you know things about the human mind that you don't really know. mary tyler moor? Really canned laughter to trample the dignity of antoher stugging human being huh? So your a contemptible person then? No wonder I don't like you!
    You can call me a queer now or whatever you have to tell yourself about me to maintain your state of delusion but the fact is while I'm repelled by you I also think your quite lovely to look at its a shame so many women are so stupid or rather unwise not stupid. Yes I am caustic but your society is unbearable to me, its disgusting and immoral and I despise it. The fact that you go along with it makes me mourn over you.

  9. Delusional people would agree with you. Or argue against your point. Just like someone who is not delusional. What ever the case, they would be right.

  10. My sister and nefew both SUFFER from some sort of sychophania ( sp ck)! Diagnased by professionals!!! It is soo hard to deal w/my family, I sometimes just go away!!! It doesn't matter what I do or say, I can't legally be of help tp either!!! It's too fkn bad it's not against the law to be crazy, so to speak!!!

  11. Yes how do we deal with those who think they are kings or queens? we have one hear in england and the delusion stretches statewide. Tell us how to deal with this one Dr Eurica

  12. they are not delusional.. they are sensitive to other things around that "normal" huh people are not… Thats like saying all Jesus disciples were delusional then.

  13. delusional people dont know their delusional. they think their the normal one and everyone else are the crazy one even if its the entire specie. the put themselves in the center of everything and turn your life into a hell. they may not be like this all the time, only periodically.

  14. This video has been helpful and I plan to use these tactics when conversing with Democrats who are convinced that Russia meddled with our electoral process…

  15. You can't reason with someone whose out of touch with reality. Best to walk away and live your life. Lol

  16. My brother broke the TV at home 4 years ago and began blaming me some days ago, he still truly believes that I did it even though I and everyone in my family tells him that he did it, directly to his face. He just can’t get it into his head because he swears I did it, I know it happened 4 years ago, I wasn’t even at home. I don’t get it? He has delusions all the time and has nothing to back it up but still believes so strongly in them? He is kind otherwise and I don’t know why he just suddenly blames other people for everything.

  17. My mom is a lost cause she thinks I turn on the heat and it’s her that turns on the heat but yet and still a hour later she will believe in her head that I turned on the heat and I didn’t even touch it idk what to do but it’s very annoying

  18. If someone has a delusional disorder, then professional help is most likely necessary. Unfortunately, these people often won't seek treatment voluntarily. They can often be violent.

  19. Some times people are not delusional and actually victims of a harassment scandal to paint them as delusional because they are witnesses.

    check this story out
    these people have not seen three of their siblings since their parents separated back in the late 1970s, they where caught stalking and defaming them to employers, neighbors etc , we are talking from other states…Police wondered why and it turned out they (mother and two children including cousins) where trying to frame all their 3 of these siblings including their father to make them appear mentally unstable so they can protect themselves form them in the event they discovered that their assets and estate was illegally stripped back in greece with out their knowledge using stolen identity, the suspected relatives where all retired fro the US Navy working police, used female contacts to defame their victims and reported their own version of the story depicting them as delusional and paranoid to protect themselves from prosecution and arrests.

  20. I have no idea what to do. I have a roommate. I thought he was normal. He will not go to the doctor. He has no change of clothes. He will not let me buy clothes for him. I have a gift card to JC Penney. I have offered to take him shopping, but he says he needs no clothes because all his clothes are in Japan. He says he will see his doctor in Japan. I do not know what to do.

  21. It is an endless nuisance having to be around delusional people. That can go as far as actually try to inflict pain onto others, because their delusions of reality are so serve. That they don't understand about other peoples boundaries. The delusion, that goes with trying to actually be a hero, and fighting the bad guy. Influencing everyone around you to take down that one person competing for that same exact spot. In other words, their delusions, continues as long as they have a competitor. Going about targeting real people as bad guys. Systematically breaking people down to the point were they think they are nothing. We got to be something, or worth something more then to deal with those actively campaigning; a never ceasing campaign, for just that brief moment of attention, that is ever so fleeting. All this struggle for what, for that 10 to 20 minutes that someone would appear on screen? The delusions really do exist, and persist on all of our T.V. screens. The movies are one thing, but T.V. programing only seems to encourage those delusions that are supposed to be nothing more then entertainment.

  22. I'm dealing with a ex-girlfriend who is harassing me and current girlfriend, she believes that I'm the ultimate Evil, she very well of her actions and what she is doing. Because she believe her doing is making a impact. This has been going on for almost a year, I've taken her to court about to get a restraining orders but the judge has denied it due to lack of evidence.

  23. I am troubled with all ppl who talk as if others ARE this or that way always… we have worse and better periods, moments, sides. Bad behaviours and things like delusion has to do with imbalances, excesses and deficiencies, not least habit-wise and food-wise. Most get unpleasant in various ways when unhappy, tired, troubled. And subconsciously by a false paradigm from childhood…. – Was hoping for help to meet the REALLY deluded ones needing help to regain balance: Paranoid Schizophrenic humans

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