How to deal with peer pressure

– Both my teen girls have
experienced peer pressure and they handle it in different ways. I have one teen that just
really wants to be liked and wants things to go well and just wants to fit in all the time
and is more susceptible to peer pressure. So I don’t know that we always deal with it well,
but it’s good to have those conversations just sort
of talk it through. So, she’ll talk to me
about maybe doing something that she doesn’t particularly like doing because everybody else likes it and I try to encourage to say, you know, you don’t necessarily have
to do what your friends like and if they don’t like you
because you don’t do something then, are they really
a good friend anyway, is that a friend that you wanna have. My other daughter, tends
to handle that better and I think it’s about
difference in confidence and so I’m really conscious
of them building confidence around themselves and that
makes them less susceptible. – If it’s just like, your friend
wants to do something crazy like, drink alcohol at a party or smoke something that you shouldn’t. Sometimes you just have to say, no like, “no, I care for my own safety.” Some people aren’t
confident, they just want to join the group, just be a part of their friendship group or just fit in. You still wanna be friends with them because like, they’re nice people just making bad decisions
so, you just like, it’s hard to explain, maybe just like, go, “nah, I’ll just look after you if you do something wrong.” – It was worse for awhile
when one of my teenagers was hanging around with the cool group, or she wanted to be amongst the cool group and the peer pressure was quite severe, so it was about what you had to wear, what bands you like,
how you wore your hair, it was quite ridiculous and now, she’s sort of found a group of friends that she feels more comfortable around and is less focused on image
and more focused around who you are as a person and she’s been happier in that space. We talk a bit about leadership, and we’re an Aboriginal family leader in the community and it’s important as a leader to be able
to say what you think and to be confident about
how you say that so, we talk a lot about leadership skills and what they look like. We talk a lot about friendship, so friendship is something
that’s really important and being what it means to
be a good friend to somebody. So we talk about, you know,
I get them to look at it from another perspective and say, well, if you were being a
good friend to somebody, would you force them to wear
something in particular. Would you only like them if
they liked what you liked or would you only like somebody that was exactly the same as you. And when they say, no, I
get them to encourage them to look at more, if you don’t
expect that from somebody, why is it okay for them to
only like you for that reason and is that what a real friendship is? – Sometimes parents are
good at blaming the child for doing the wrong thing when they were actually peer pressured into it. Peer pressure’s a really
hard thing on teenagers, like they just wanna be,
I just wanna fit in and be like the cool kids and all that. But sometimes it’s not
the teenager’s fault.

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