Hey, guys, listen up. Michael is up on the roof, and acting strange. Woah, what’s the situation? Unshun. I think he’s suffering from depression. Reshun. Okay, when’s the shunning thing gonna end? Unshun. Never. Reshun. I think he wants you all to come out to the parking lot and watch him die. Is it nice outside? It’s gorgeous, let’s go. Do I need my jacket? No it really is very nice. Come on! Will I be too warm in a long-sleeve tee? Everyone’s gonna be fine in exactly what they’re wearing, let’s go! Let’s go! Come on, hurry up you guys! My life… Oh… my life Michael, what’s wrong? Everything’s wrong. The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression. Depression? Isn’t that just a fancy word for feeling “bummed out”? Dwight, you ignorant slut. Depression is a very serious illness. Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year. According to a 2004 study. Is that the last year that data was available? Yes. My head is in such pain! And turmoil! Don’t do anything rash. Dwight, where are the warehouse guys? I didn’t- I didn’t think you needed them for this part. Okay.. that’s You said to just- That’s the whole point, dummy. Okay, I’m on it. Okay. Attention blue collar workers! What are the odds that this is in any way real? I’d say like… 10,000 to 1. Okay, I’d like 10 bucks on those odds. If someone gives you 10,000 to 1, on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an oscar, I’m going to be a very rich dude. Michael is up on the roof and he’s acting strange! Ohhhh my life. Michael! What’s wrong? Everything is wrong, Dwight. The stress of my modern office has made me depressed. Depressed? Isn’t that just a fancy word for feeling “bummed out”? Dwight, you ignorant slut. Well, you know, the first performance was a little off. But I really think they hit their stride in the second show. Um, might even bring my parents tomorrow. To the matinee. MICHAEL: And that is why I am going to jump off to jump off this roof.
JIM: Oh, excuse me, it’s my favorite part.