Magic: The Gathering Office Hours – Nissa Revane


Miss, uh, Revene? Oh, just call me Nissa Right.. Uh, thank you so much for stopping by my office I wanted to talk to you about the direction that your story is taking. Ah yes. For Zendikar ! Yea.. Well thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about Uh, I’ve noticed some rather dramatic changes, revisions really, to your character And I thought that maybe we can have a little chat about where it is you’re headed in the story Professor I am in-tuned with Zendikar I hear the lands I speak with the trees I whispers to the mountains Zendikar’s spirit flows through me ! Uh huh. Uh huh Well its just that originally you were a heroic character with a crippling flaw You were racist. Well, xenophobic really, and.. Racism is bad !! Yeah but if I can just finish Yes, racism is bad but it was a critical flaw of your character. So critical that you set the eldrazi free because you didn’t care if other worlds were destroyed just so long as zendikar Specifically, the elves of zendikar, were safe I know, right ? Everyone hated me. But now I fixed all of that Well, I wouldn’t say you fixed all of that. You certainly erased it all Uh. But I wouldn’t say people don’t hate you.. They just.. maybe hate you in a new way But I’m a protagonist. You can’t have a racist protagonist And we don’t. We don’t anymore. We now have a.. mild hippy elf I’m a friend to all living things. Yayy !! Uh huh. Uh huh. *groan* Racism is BAD !! Yes ! Really bad But it gave your character depth And compexity You were a bigot being brought low by her bigotry And your story was starting to evolve into a journey To redeem yourself Really bad ! I just feel that if you had worked with your flaws instead of erasing them You might have developed into something really engaging Uh, flawed characters seeking to atone for her hatred. Admitting her mistakes And fighting to fix them Now that’s someone I would like to read about But now, whats your character’s conflict ? Where’s your struggle ? Theres no room for an arc when you’re… well.. shallow Hey ! I can have an arc Like last chapter I.. thought I had lost my connection to Ashaya, the spirit elemental of zendikar But, then I realized Ashaya hadn’t left at all She was inside me all along Yes ! All I had to do to overcome my obstacle, was believe in myself I.. Hell of an obstacle there by the way But, its just that, that’s kind of exactly what happened to you in the chapter before that Ashaya ? Where are you ?! Oh no ! And the chapter before THAT Ashaya, I found her ! She was.. within me all along. Ok. Why don’t we examine a specific section of your revisions Originally you plainswalker to lorwyn where you experimented with black mana Your hatred and racism fueling this selfish magic It wasn’t your best moment But, we all experiment with black magic at one point or another But, now that you’re no longer racist, there was no connection to your travel to lorwyn So you just went there, stayed for a minute and then left Hey ! I was on lorwyn for more than a minute How long were you on lorwyn for ? 36 minutes 36 minutes ! And then you left for…? For Zendikar ! Back home to zendikar. The entirety of the multiverse Your first plainswalk and you’re gone for half an hour I learned much in my travels Yea. Hell of an arc you got going there I can go back to lorwyn I can have an adventure with that tree I saw I can call the story, Nissa’s tree Well it sounds exciting Especially if we get to hear more from the tree and less from you Ashaya ! Oh god I.. I’ve lost my connection with Ashaya I no longer believe in myself… Ugh ! The academy gets Freyalise and I get Nissa Revene Revene huh? Real subtle choice for a last name Was nature taken ? Hmm ? Nissa Nature ? When Nissa Nature, the tree lover comes into play, put a heart counter on each forest you control ? You can’t control the forest. Its essence runs through you Alright alright.. Ashaya ! I thought I lost you ! This is what I’m talking about when it comes to the spirits Alright alright ! …Elementals that they live with you, they breathe with you, they speak with you Alright ! Alright. alright.. alright.. alright.. alright Hello everyone and welcome back to the lore corner Or whatever you want to call it Uh where we talk about lore And last week we left off talking about zendikar and how the titans decided to test the waters Well bars of the hedron prison It starts out with like a bigger macro decision of like what kind of deck am I going to play Maybe if, um, your.. your local store metagame is really heavy on dark jeskai for instance Well then maybe you’ll be like, oh I’m going to play esper control because it has a good match up Or I’m going to play green red eldrazi Um, because depend on how they sideboard, that has a good match up Uh, which is also, so thats like the macro decision And then theres a smaller decision of, it also influences what you are going to sideboard

Anna Kendrick Stuck Paying Desus’ Bill at Big Celebrity Dinner | Extended Interview | DESUS & MERO


[SIRENS] I mean, honestly, this is
like what I’ve come to expect. So I could make like
a dumb joke, but– [MUSIC PLAYING] Hey! DESUS: What’s up? Hi. DESUS: What’s going on, homie? ANNA KENDRICK: Good
to see you guys. Hey! How is it going? Aw!
[INTERPOSING VOICES] – Ready for this interview?
– I know. It’s going to be great. You can’t get away from me.
[INTERPOSING VOICES] I miss you guys.
[INTERPOSING VOICES] Let’s do it. [INTERPOSING VOICES] You know a show on late night? You know what it is, nothing
but illustrious guests. Friend of the show–
DESUS: Friend of the show– MERO: You know what I’m saying? DESUS: –our famous
celebrity friend, who we just be casually hanging with.
– Yeah. This doesn’t even
feel like work. We’re just hanging with our
home girl, Anna Kendrick. [INTERPOSING VOICES] – Oh, are there cameras?
– Oh my god! Oh my god, I
didn’t even realize! Oh my god, so embarrassing!
[INTERPOSING VOICES] Oh my god, I’m sorry. Oh, forgot to
tell you about that. How you been? I’ve been amazing. I miss you guys. Oh, we miss you too. ANNA KENDRICK: We’re like
for real friends, I love it. Yes, we’re real friends. We have each other’s
phone numbers. ANNA KENDRICK: I know.
– We go out to eat. – Yeah.
– I know. It’s wild. Heard you have a story
about the last time we went out to eat.
Do you have a complaint– I’m sorry, I didn’t know
we were going to get into it. DESUS: Well, let’s start.
Let’s begin at the beginning. Well, first of all, I
would like to say that Mero’s an innocent party here– Thank you. ANNA KENDRICK: –and
was not involved. I was responsibly watching
my children at home. But you guys invited me
to have dinner with AOC, which was very lovely. DESUS: Lovely. And I’m sure that Mero was
very sad that he wasn’t there. Of course. But in the end, he
comes out the hero. Because what happened was– [GIGGLING] At the end of the night,
at these big fancy dinners, when it’s like, all
these celebrities, it’s John Legend, Chrissy Teigen,
Seth Rogen Tracy Ellis Ross, Don Cheadle,
Pharrell Will– like, everybody’s at this table. And I understand the tendency
to feel like somebody is getting this, right? Like, the label’s
picking up the check, or the studio’s picking
up the check, I guess. But no, you fucking grabbed me,
and you’re like, yo, nobody’s paying for this dinner. You have to help me
pay for this dinner. [LAUGHTER]
– That’s true. That is true. And I grabbed Jay Ellis. And I was like, well–
because Pharrell just– he had left.
DESUS: He was out. He left.
DESUS: He left. And so–
MERO: Power move. –I was like, well, but all
these people are still here. And like, Seth Rogen is
coming up, and being like, hey, thanks for inviting me. I was like, (WHISPERING)
get his credit card! – That’s what we’re saying!
– (WHISPERING) Ask him first! Credit card! And you were like, no. And you were like, well, is
because you’re one of us now. And I was like, this
is emotional bribery. DESUS: It is. It’s a little gaslighting,
it’s a little, you know? [LAUGHTER]
There’s a little manipulation. So then we just had to split
this very expensive check. Dinner, yes. Whoo! And I did say if this is
about reparations, fine. And you and Jay
Ellis laughed, which made me feel very relieved. Because as I was
saying it, I was like– DESUS: Can you get
away with this joke? [SQUEALING]
[LAUGHTER] See, but you paid– After paying that bill, you
can make jokes like that. ANNA KENDRICK: OK, great. [LAUGHTER] Well, I mean, other
than hanging out with us, what do you do for fun? Now I know you go
to strip clubs. You play dice in the Bronx. ANNA KENDRICK: Yeah. DESUS: How else has
your life changed from your Bronx experience? A lot more Timms, more
Yankee Field, lot of ah, ah, ahs when you speak? No!
I mean– MERO: Some yerrs? And I almost said
this to you at the time, because you guys kept
being like, oh, when they start rolling again,
like say this piece of slang or whatever. And I was like, I
can’t say that to you on TV, because then white women
will come up to you forever and be like– am I right? Like– [LAUGHTER] I can say that now. Yerr!
[INTERPOSING VOICES] – Yerr!
– It’s true. That is true. Looks good, my guy. ANNA KENDRICK: Yeah. Even though it was for
comedy purposes, I was like, I don’t think that
I should say that. There’s something
very important. It set Twitter aflame. What? We sent you a pair of Jordans,
and you took a photo of them. – Oh yes!
– That’s right. This was wild. You performed– This was wild. –the cardinal sin of Jordans. Yeah, so when we
hung out in the Bronx, you guys gave me like– and I was very clear in
my post to say like, it’s like a starter kit Jordan,
because they’re not like, super impressive wild Jordans. Probably not the kind
of thing that you guys would have necessarily
picked out for me, but you know I’m
just starting, so you got me just like a basic
entry level Jordan. Neutral color that you
can mix with a lot of– ANNA KENDRICK: And I was like,
I love these, I appreciate you. And I put them on and I took
a picture in them, you know, posed in them and I was
like, thanks, Desus and Mero, this is awesome. And all of the comments
were about– it was just– I didn’t know sneaker culture!
So– Exactly! I didn’t know I was
walking into the shitstorm that I was walking into. Every comment was you’re
like, (YELLING) The crease! MERO: (YELLING)
You’re creasing them! ANNA KENDRICK: (YELLING)
Oh, what are you doing? (YELLING) Yo, she’s
fucking creasing them! – (YELLING) Oh no!
– She doesn’t get it. (YELLING) What are you doing? She doesn’t get it. Whose mans is this? As though they’re
like a one of a kind– The zoom-in on the
(LAUGHING) crease and shit. Yes! Would you have survived
a Bronx childhood? What would Bronx Anna
Kendrick be, you think? Did you have– Like how old? Let’s see. MERO: I’d say born and raised. DESUS: Born and raised.
ANNA KENDRICK: Born and raised? DESUS: Born and raised,
Rhinelander Avenue. I mean, I think like
from a very young age, like I was always super little,
but I was like, very loud. DESUS: Yeah. So I do feel like I
either just would’ve gotten the shit kicked
out of me every day, or I would have just been like– –had such a big bark
that nobody would have– Yeah, the people are
like, yo, (WHISPERING) chill the fuck out.
– –yeah, fuck with me. [INTERPOSING VOICES]
– Or just seem like, crazy? Yeah, she might have
a a knife or something. Yeah, I often did. We asked this
question because we want to know what role we should
have for you in our movie. Oh, the movie of
your life story? MERO: Yeah. OK. Is it like a biopic, or is it– It’s a little bit of both. It going to be like,
embellish biopic. ANNA KENDRICK: OK, OK, OK. DESUS: We also need
someone to help us fund it. Are you all– Because our movie
is also a musical. Your movie is going
to become a musical? There’s just
singing scenes in it. Oh, OK, OK. Yeah, I mean, I’m going to– Anna Kendrick Lamar. ANNA KENDRICK: –absolutely
do the musical. And– (WHISPERING) wow. Know what I’m saying? What song could
we get her to sing? What’s a strong Spanish song? Oof!
“Suavamente”? “Suavamente”? [INTERPOSING VOICES]
– I don’t think I know that one. “Gasolina?” Know what I’m saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of know that one.
Kind of know that. Very entry level
reggaeton joint, you know what I’m saying?
ANNA KENDRICK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know? You get that with a
little Daddy Yankee. Why, does she own– You don’t think that would
be problematic in any way? You don’t think I would
get in any kind of trouble? MERO: No!.
– Why? No! I mean, you simply– ANNA KENDRICK: No? –you own a Dominican
hookah shop up in uptown, know what I’m saying?
MERO: That’s all. OK.
DESUS: You’re also Dominican. But I am like
playing a gentrifier, so we’re acknowledging
the problem. No, you’re a
Dominican in this. Oh, I’m Dom– oh, OK. Remember, we gave
you the Dominican name? ANNA KENDRICK: Yeah, no, no, no,
that won’t be a problem at all, me playing–
– You can dye your hair black. ANNA KENDRICK: No, no, no, no.
– You know what I’m saying? No. There’s been no history of– MERO: And a lot of bronzer. –white women playing
roles that they shouldn’t– [LAUGHTER] –in current events. So that sounds like a safe bet. Starring Anna Kendrick. [LAUGHTER] Well, get on that! Get on that! [LAUGHTER] You heard her,
trolls, she got pipes! DESUS: Oh my god! ANNA KENDRICK: Can I tell
you something I love you and I hate you. Because my children listen
to the “Trolls” soundtrack in the car all the fucking
time on long road trips, and it makes me appreciate
your vocal talent. No, no, no, that’s fine. But also, it makes me want
to drive the car off the road and kill us all. I– we apologize for that. On behalf of the “Trolls”
team, we apologize for that. Fuck you, Justin Timberlake. Although I will say that when
Justin came on, he was like, I just want to make
the music as bearable as possible for parents. Because he had been forced
to listen to his kids’ favorite movies over and
over again, so he was like, I’m going to try to just make
it like, listenable for adults. MERO: As soon as I get
in the motherfucking car and I turn the ignition on,
it’s like (YELLING) I was like, oh my god, here we go. All right, I hope
this is a short ride. Well, “Trolls 2” is coming– [LAUGHTER] [INTERPOSING VOICES] DESUS: When is
“Trolls 2” dropping? All new music. I think April. Actually– MERO: Is it done? I think it’s 4/20.
DESUS: 4/20? Hey! Which, you know, the kids
probably won’t appreciate. DESUS: Appreciate that, but
as an adult, you’re like– [SIGHING]
– Yeah, yeah, yeah. MERO: Yo, let’s go
watch “Trolls,” bro. Yeah. Just incredible. You look like a troll. Whoa, this is nuts! Can you see the movie like
that, high with your kids? – Definitely.
– Is that the best way to do it? Absolutely. I watched “The Good Dinosaur”
like on 500 milligrams of edibles, and I was just
like, (CRYING) oh my god, this is “The Lion
King” with dinosaurs! Is that what that is? Yeah, it is literally “The
Lion King” with dinosaurs. So the dad dies? The dad dies in the
beginning, and it’s like a whole redemption. Like, Dad, I’m going
to make you proud. And like, the
spirit of his father talks to him, and
all this bullshit. ANNA KENDRICK: It’s too much. And they totally
erase the mother! I got serious real quick. Sorry. What happens in “Trolls 2?” [LAUGHTER] [IMITATES SCREECHING TIRES] [INTERPOSING VOICES] Does the mother die? Is it done? It’s almost done. MERO: Is there room
for two more trolls? Maybe some like, you know,
trolls from like, you know, Bronxlandia? Yo, I’m a troll, hey! Hey, yo! (SINGING) Trolly
troll, lean back. Hey! (SINGING) I’m a troll, yo. ANNA KENDRICK: Yeah,
I’m definitely going to take this back to the– (SINGING) My
trolls don’t dance, we just pull up our pants
and do the Rockaway. Now troll back. Hey, troll back. Hey, troll back.
Hey! We’re the only
trolls with cornrows. Ah, ah, ah, look! It’s Anna Kendrick! Hey, come into the Bronx
with us, we’re trolls. [INTERPOSING VOICES]
MERO: Let’s go! DESUS: Put on some
trolls Timberlands. [INTERPOSING VOICES] ANNA KENDRICK: I’m going to
give this tape to a producer. I don’t think you are.
I don’t think you are. Yeah. I don’t think you are. Don’t call us,
we’ll call you, yeah. Because we’re
all friends here, tell us about your new film. A very, very dark satire about
the criminal justice system, and the way that it targets
minorities, the way that it targets the mentally ill. And I play an FBI
agent who like, is trying to
convince herself that she’s one of the good ones,
but, you know, probably isn’t. It’s definitely like
morally ambiguous, but it’s like, really funny. Where was it filmed? It was filmed in the
Dominican Republic! (YELLING) That’s right, yo! It was filmed in the
Dominican Republic, the number one country on the
motherfucking planet, y’all. – Yeah!
– See what I’m saying? Did people die while
you were filming it. No, they did not,
because Anna Kendrick is the [SPEAKING SPANISH]
Dominican Republic, number one–
[INTERPOSING VOICES] Matter of fact, if
she’s your [SPANISH],, what is her name in Dominican? Give her a Dominican name. Hey, hey, hey. Anaidee Belkis Kendrick. Yes, and the
Anna has a Z in it. MERO: Yes!
– Yes. And a Y. Great. You lost me there,
but I love it. It’s great.
[LAUGHTER] I love it. I didn’t see anybody die, but
somebody did see a dead body. – See?
– Lit. ANNA KENDRICK: Yeah. See? What more can you ask for? Some horseback riding,
parasailing, dead body. – Yeah.
– Open bar. And I did see some dead dogs. And there were dogs everywhere. DESUS: Everywhere, right? Which at first,
you’re like, so cute! And then you’re
like, you’re all– MERO: You’re all mangy.
– –about to die. Yeah, or have mange. ANNA KENDRICK: You’re going
to collapse in front of me. I cannot pet you. Yeah, I see the fleas
hopping off of you onto me. OK you’re a fan of Reddit? Yeah, yeah. I mean, not like– What’s your
favorite subreddit? –the bad parts. No, no no, the shitty parts,
like the trolling edge lords. I don’t know. Like, what’s your
favorite subreddit? I like cringepics a lot.
MERO: Cringepics? DESUS: Cringepics. Yeah, like the
texts between like– like when guys are
really thirsty, and the girl’s like, oh, I’m
sorry, I’m not interested. And they’re like,
I was testing you. DESUS: Yeah. Because I wanted
to make sure that you weren’t going to cheat on
your boyfriend, and you passed. Oh wow! Which is an actual
one I saw recently. Wow! That’s very cringey. It just makes me so happy. Damn, I feel second
hand embarrassment– ANNA KENDRICK: Right? –and I have no idea
who this person is. I have a very low threshold
for like how cringey I can– so like videos and
stuff, I can’t. I’m like, huh, no I can’t. I barely got through the
Terrence Howard interview. Like there’s so– like,
I just can’t, yeah. But when it’s a picture,
and I can just like opt out at any time. [INTERPOSING VOICES] Just click, nope, nope. He’s about to call her a slut. Nope, I’m out. MERO: Yeah, I’m outta here. Do you have– because this is
a very real thing in society. ANNA KENDRICK: What? The group chat
with your home girls where you slander dates
and potential people that (LAUGHING) you’ve
hooked up with or whatever. I see these all the time. My sister shows me hers
all the time, and I’m like, wow, y’all are ruthless! I’m not, you know– there are group chat– I’m trying– I don’t want
to sell out my gender here. [LAUGHTER] There are group chats. You know, normally, women– we’re terribly highbrow. And we wouldn’t stoop to such
base topics as intercourse. You know, so mostly,
we’re discussing the news of the day, personal growth. MERO: Last novel you read. But occasionally– DESUS: And like,
cleaning supplies and– You know, occasionally
somebody catches a weak dick, and it must be discussed. [LAUGHTER] [INTERPOSING VOICES] The BDR, the Bad Dick Report. Yes, exactly. You can–
[INTERPOSING VOICES] –can’t get the BDR. It’s like a bad Carfax. Where do you stand on dick pics? I mean– well, OK,
here’s the thing. I can’t say anything here
that won’t result in me getting more dick pics in my– DESUS: True, true. –social media feed. Ooh, yeah! So I say, like, oh my
god, they’re disgusting, here come the dick pics.
DESUS: Even more. MERO: Here come the dick picks. And if I’m like,
yeah, they’re all right, then here come the dick pics.
MERO: Then you get more. Damn!
– You know? Is that a problem? No, but now, maybe. Yeah. We broke her dick pic cherry. [LAUGHTER] Hate to see it. [INTERPOSING VOICES] No actually, mostly
the sort of harassment that comes up in my feed is
about cunnilingus, which I’m like, well, what a gentleman! [LAUGHTER] Look at that! [GROANING] Who said chivalry was dead? That’s what you want
to hear on your timeline. – Yeah, exactly.
– Cunnilingus. No dick pic,
it’s just like, yo. – Oh, bless you.
– Yo, eat this. [LAUGHTER] Oh, Anna! Use my face as
as a toilet seat. OK, all right, that was
a little more specific. I feel like that is in
there right now, and it’s just in that 99-plus sidebar thing. I mean, you’re not far off. [INTERPOSING VOICES] [LAUGHTER] (YELLING) Thank
you, Anna Kendrick! [INTERPOSING VOICES] Anna, you’re
our friend, and we want you to continue working,
so we’re going to end this interview right here. [LAUGHTER] Yo, Anna, you’ve
been in New York. You know about bodegas, and how
they have a neon sign that says what food is available. What would your neon sign say? My neon sign would
be very inspirational. Just because you had to work
hard for it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. DESUS: I like that. That’s good advice. It’ll help you going
forward when, you know, you have to help pay for a
friend’s dinner. (YELLING) Yo, give it up for Anna Kendrick! (YELLING) Yeah! [APPLAUSE] [MUSIC PLAYING]

Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – Apple Pay-n in the Butt


(theme song) Gavin: Tell the story about how technology made us stupid in New York. Burnie: Oh. So I went out to, (chuckles) I went out to New York, and I was there to support Gavin and Dan. They had to sign these shirts, they had to have silver sharpies. So we had to find silver sharpies in downtown Manhattan. Gavin: We went to a CVS, didn’t have them, had to go way far to a Staples. Burnie: We walked, we probably walked like 18-20 blocks. We finally got to a Staples, and I found a pack of silver sharpies. Gav grabbed one as well, and then we all throw them on the counter. And then I see, ooh, it had Apple Pay, at the uh, at the counter. So I’m going to impress Dan and Gav, and I’m going to be like, “Check this out.” Beep! Gavin: Yeah, and I was like, “Oh, I’ve never seen Apple Pay been used before.” Burnie: And I go, “Here it is.” It asked for my thumbprint, I hit the thumbprint, and they’re like, “Wow, that’s cool.” Gavin: And I was like, ’cause he printed a receipt and gave it to you to sign, I was like, “You still have to sign with Apple Pay? What’s the point of the thumbprint?” Burnie: I felt so good about myself ’cause they were so impressed by it, then I had to sign for it, and Gav and Dan are like, “Pffft, why do you have to sign, it ruins the whole thing.” Burnie: I was like, “No it doesn’t.” And they’re like, “Yes it does.” I was like, “Fuck you guys.” And then we go, we leave. We walk 18 blocks back to the hotel. And I’m like, feeling all, you know, fuck you guys and this thing. So we get in the fucking lobby. Gavin: So I was like, “Right, I’m going to have a shower, see you later.” Burnie: And I said, “So just sign the shirts.” And Dan goes, “Ok, I need the pens.” And I go, “Well I don’t have them, Gav has the pens.” And he goes, “Oh, ok.” So Dan goes up to where Gav is, and goes, “I need the pens.” Gav goes, “I don’t have the fucking pens.” Burnie: We were arguing about Apple Pay, we just left our pens on the fucking counter… Gus: OHHH MY GODDD. Burnie: …20 blocks away. And what’d I do? I had to walk back all the way… Gus: That’s not on you, that’s on them. Barbara: Why did you have to do it? Burnie: I walked into Staples, the guy looks up, and he goes, “Here you go man.” Burnie: It’s like, I just walked up and grabbed the pens. Gavin: (laughter)