– SO YOU GOT TO KEEP
THE TOPPINGS FULL. – OKAY, GOT IT.
I’M ON TOP OF THAT. – YOU GONNA FIT IN
JUST FINE HERE. HEY, SOMEDAY… THAT MIGHT BE YOUR PICTURE
ON THE WALL. – OH, EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR. WHEN DOES SHE WORK? – WHAT? – I WAS JUST WONDERING
WHEN SHE WORKS. – GIRL, IT’S ME. – OH… CONGRATS. – NOW, HERE’S THE BEST PART
ABOUT WORKING AT A YOGURT SHOP, IS YOU GET
ALL THE FREE FROYO YOU WANT. MM-HMM. AND YOU CAN’T BELIEVE
HOW DELICIOUS IT IS AND ALSO FAT FREE. THANK GOD,
BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND– HE JUST GOT BACK
FROM HIS TOUR IN AFGHANISTAN, AND HE’S COMING HERE
TO PICK ME UP. HE SHOULD BE HERE IN A MINUTE.
I HAVEN’T SEEN HIM IN A YEAR. – A WHOLE YEAR, YOU SAY. – MM-HMM. HAVE SOME. – I’M GOOD. – NOW, IF YOU NEED A EXTRA SHIRT
OR ANYTHING, THEY GONNA BE IN THERE,
BECAUSE THESE SEEM TO SHRINK. – UH-HUH.
– OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, GIRL? I CAN’T GET ENOUGH
OF THIS STUFF. I MEAN, YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME.
IT’S FREE. – NO, I’M OKAY.
I’M–I’LL HAVE SOME LATER. – COME ON, GIRL, IT’S FAT FREE. – HI. I JUST GOT BACK
FROM AFGHANISTAN. I’M HERE LOOKING
FOR MY GIRLFRIEND, LATIA. – AAH! BABY! BABY, WHAT–WHAT?
IT’S ME. – NO, IT’S NOT. – WHAT? IT’S ME. – APPARENTLY SHE DOESN’T WORK
HERE ANYMORE. THANKS. – WHAT? OH, MY GOD!
HE’S LEAVING ME! DESMONA, IS HE LEAVING ME?
DESMONA, WHY WOULD HE LEAVE ME? WHAT–WHAT POSSIBLE REASON COULD
THERE BE FOR HIM LEAVING ME? FOR HIM LEAVING ME? – MAYBE HE–
MAYBE HE GOT THAT PSD. PSD. – WHAT? OH, YOU MEAN THE PTSDs?
– THE PTSDs. – YOU MEAN THE POST-TRAUMATIC
STRESS DISORDER. [crying]
IT’S GOT TO BE THAT. OH, MY GOD!
MY BABY GOT THE PTSD! MY BABY GOT THE PTSD! THAT COULD BE THE ONLY REASON! OH, MY BABY! MY POOR, POOR BABY
GOT THE PTSDs! OH, MY BABY! [wailing]
*Crowd chatters* Please maintain silence Please maintain silence Shut up! Since internet has become cheap, everyone came Son, you’ve come with something else *Laughs* Shut up! Come one by one, in a queue Punne, turn on the air conditioner Sir, the AC is not working Then bring me something cool Ok sir Tell me, what can I do for you? Sir, I want to go to facebook.com Am I your personal maid?! Ever asked FaceBook for Google? Am I doing everyone’s job here? Am I a dealer? What? Get lost! Next! Sir, I want to open a Gmail account. Ok… It will require Aadhar card, pan card, birth certificate and a copy of your electricity bill… along with two passport size photos. Yes, I have it with me. Here you go What do you want your email id to be? [email protected] Ummm it’s not available Otherwise keep it as… [email protected] or [email protected] But this is not fair! Ok then, don’t open an account Go to Yahoo No no sir, do it You seem to be upset about it. Next! Here you go, sir What are these? Ice cubes? You told me to bring something cold I asked you to bring something cool to drink! Should I put these Ice cubes up my a**?! Yes,sir. Just imagine, when you fart the whole room will be chilled. Anyways our AC is not working Where’s my shoe?! I’m leaving Next! Hi sir! I want to download Badshah’s four songs… and three of Eminem’s Badshah and Eminem…. Punne Where’s eminem? Sir, I’ve locked him in the drawer… he screams too much. Uhhh I got it. Here, Badshah and Eminem Sir, can you give it in a bag? Plastic bags are banned now. Bring a cloth bag from home Do you have a brain or not?! Get lost! Next! How to become successful in life? See, if you want to be successful in India… then you will have to follow four simple steps. 1) You will have to wear this Hippo’s skin’s rotten leather around your neck 2) You will have to put your wish chit in this tortoise and float it in the water 3) Everyday you will have to drink this natural substance drink And lastly… Chant this mantra everyday. *Chants mantra* Wow! You will be successful in three months What if I don’t? Then you have bad luck You will have to go stand in the sun Hot Sunny Leone pictures Fill this form and stand in that line *Gasps* Sir, please do something, I can’t control anymore Go get lost! This Sunny lady has increased the work of government employees Next! Sir, I want to download a movie Which one? Sui Dhaga Have you ever out “sui” in “dhaga” ? Whats’s the big deal about it? In one hand the Sui… and dhaga in the other… Put it Put you dong in the cond*m and putting Sui in Dhaga has a lot of difference. Ask me… My wife makes me mend clothes everyday at home Are you giving me the movie or not? Here, that will be 500rs 500?! But I wanted it for free, sir Y’all want everything for free! You won’t get anything! Get out of here Please sir, do something, there must be a loophole. I’ve come with great hope, please sir Ok listen, don’t cry. In that room, one person is there… ‘Torrent Baba’ Ring his bell and run away with the CD Thank you sir Next! Google Yes? Google.com I am google.com www.google.com I am google.com Now tell me what do you want otherwise I’ll post your history Nothing, I was juit checking whether the internet was working or not. Next! How to reduce weight in one month? Uhhh where did that one month file go? How to reduce weight in one week? Everyone is in a hurry How to reduce weight in one day? Come inside! I’ll reduce your weight in one minute No no sorry sir! I’m leaving Where do these people come from! Sir, I want to go to Facebok Come! I’ll change the look of your face Come here! Where are you running? You think I am an online driver?! Peon?! Put the ‘Facebook closed’ sign outside Yes sir. A**holes, asking dad the way to his son So if you liked the video, press Like and if you’re new press Subscribe I will meet you in a new video with a new topic, till then goodbye. *Outro music* Subtitles by youtube.com/c/mysticgta
Guys, please do SUBSCRIBE to ALRIGHT Award for the “Best Employee of the Year” goes to.. Rishi Ranjan This is Rishi Ranjan Since the past 6 years, he has maintained the record of “Employee of the Year” His life has become a joke All he is concerned about is winning “Employee of the Year” Yes, will do that sir! Absolutely Thank you for calling Yumiko 5G, this was Rishi Ranjan Have a nice day sir Yes sir Yes sir! But.. Yes, yes sir… Sir, why are you abusing me? Hey you! Why did you disconnect the call? Should I complain about you to the TL You dissatisfied a customer He was abusing me a lot! Fine, I won’t take this forward Just stop with your overacting Are you sure? I won’t say a word Was he actually abusing you? Come on! Hello? Hello, who’s this? Your mother’s husband! Now listen! Who do you think you are? Thanks bro! You turned out to be quite cool I’ve a new found respect for you and you know what.. YOU ARE INVITED Where? Are you out of you right mind? Why would one go on a mass bunk for India’s match Sir, are you anti-national? Vimal, tobacco has not only ruined your teeth but your mind too Think about it, it’s India and Bangladesh’s final match It would be so exciting to watch……………. Let’s go all in, order some Pizzas & Burgers to enhance our T20 experience No, Pizzas & Burgers are way too overrated It’s a matter of T20! Let’s order some Biryani Let’s order from “BIRYANI BY KILO” They send fresh Biryani in their huge vessels Yeah, other restaurants just reheat their food Please order some Kebabs for me Their Mutton & Veg Galouti just melts in my mouth Order a Lucknowi Biryani for me I knew you would get convinced Guys, mass bunk is on It’s on guys! Wait a second Listen, the supreme worker of laziness! I’m in for Biryani not for a mass bunk I have a 100% attendance track record since 6 years I can’t just break it Okay then Your loss Guys! Be ready with your excuses because our mass bunk is still on! IT’S STILL ON! Why does your grandmother have to die all the time This time it’s my grandmother’s turn What’s your grandmother’s age? Seventy three Seventy four! It’s obvious, my grandmother will die first I’m not sure about your grandmother but you’re definitely gonna die right away Yeah, kill each other! We have to attend a match not a funeral You girls just keep on fighting every time Just try building relationships Sir, we are cousins She is a grandmother tpo both of us I mean, “was” Yeah, “was” Sir, she is no more Guys, you… take care please! Stay strong Stay strong Hello sir Hi Rishi Actually.. Their grandmother got expired today Can you take their calls for the day? Okay sir Thank you Rishi Thanks a lot! Stay strong! Baby I’ve ordered Mahi’s jersey The moment he’ll play his helicopter shot, we’ll dance together But baby, Mahi is not even playing What is this! I’ll break up with you now No baby, Mahi will definitely play his magic Can I work now? If I go & tell our boss that you’re planning a mass bunk Your romance will no longer exist Congratulations sir! Get off me You’ll leave a tobacco stain on my shirt Sorry sir, I got carried away because of my emotions I just had a baby boy What do you mean by “it’s hanging”? (classic case of miscommunication) What’s been hanging? I’m saying, me & my wife just had a son Oh wow! Yeah, a baby boy Congratulate me Congratulations Thank you sir Sir, please grant me a half day;s leave But, you just got married 2 month back Sir, I got married 2 months back But before that we were in a relationship for 7 months Vimal, there’s a lot of work in office You can leave in the evening Sir, you’re not understanding My wife’s given birth to a very mischievous child If I don’t show up on time… he’ll end up calling someone else by the name of “daddy” It’s a critical situtaion, try to understand Okay fine, go! Sir, you’re an A1 person! Thank you for calling at Yumiko 5G I hope you have a great day We also wish the same for you But you yourself are not ready for it What do you mean? We mean.. You are our senior Why aren’t you coming along with us? How will we cheer for the team without your guidance My targets will not be complete Look at you! You had a target of becoming a singer and now… You sing a repeated song while talking to a customer “Sorry for the inconvenience caused, sir” “We’ll try and fix your problem” So what should I do now? I guess, it’s not compulsory for you to complete all your targets Exactly! It is not compulsory for you to complete all your targets Will you be happy if one day you become like him What do you mean by “you’ll become like him”? I meant.. just like you Why are you getting so irritated? Why would I be irritated? Because you don’t have a life I don’t have a life? I’m receiving “Employee of the Year” for past 3 years Do you even know what it is? More like “Annoying Person of the Year” You neither have a friend nor a girlfriend You just keep hearing abuses from customers And for the escape you abuses the other person from unknown numbers you think you are being savage But you are annoying Bro why don’t you just go and mind your own **** bunk Bunk is planned Anyways, I won’t be able to work in dark So, all the best! and I hope you become employee of the year this time also just.. when you will say I am so happy smile a little! Lights are out I called BSS they said light won’t come till tomorrow Let’s go and have a cigarette and tea break!! Office is over…let’s go! over? Who said office is over? Lights were out for like half and hour, see everyone left So called loyal employees But you stayed You are a valuable employee to the company Rishi should I tell you something interesting You will be employee of the year this time also Don’t tell anyone I am happy sir I am sure you are Rishi as I was saying? Pass the biryani Please pass the kababs also keep it all with you Don’t you think you said a lot today? Annoying person of the year You are not savage you are annoying It just came out in the heat of the moment Otherwise you know I respect you as a person When will Mahi come? Mahi is not playing only today Well you track record of 100% attendance is ruined now Now what? It is ok if 100% track record of attendance is ruined Life should not get ruined!! just one second guys, boss is calling me the number you are trying to call is busy in celebrating mass bunk Please LIKE & SHARE our video and if your office is also having such issues than do tell us in the COMMENT section should I tell you something? Yes Biryani by Kilo has completely satisfied me it is so delicious Just give it to me, obviously it is tasty because Biryani By kilo cooks fresh biryani Give me this and they don’t give you stale food so guys SUBSCRIBE to alright and be ALRIGHT!
Work is an integeral part
of the American identity. When you meet
someone at a party, the first question is always,
“What do you do?” I used to lie to people
when I was younger ’cause I didn’t want
people to know that
I was an amateur comedian, so I’d tell them that I was
a giraffe keeper at the zoo. Did you know that the
giraffe tongue is so strong, it can actually tear
the flesh off the human body? That’s why there’s
no lesbian giraffes. Also, they don’t make sensible
pants for four legs. So why is America
so focused on work, and does that focus on work…
work? Let’s find out in our segment “America,
You’re Doing It Wrong.” We’re not doing songs a–?
Okay. Uh, the country’s obsession
with hard work dates back to these Bible-thumping
buckle-headed [bleep] who invented the
Protestant work ethic. Why is it called a work ethic? Work isn’t inherently ethical. You can be a very hardworking
human trafficker, and no one’s going to say,
“Gotta hand it to Nikola. Up at the crack of dawn
every morning stuffing young women
into shipping containers. Ah, you think they’re
not gonna get in, but he always makes them fit. He has good ethics.” But hard work just for the sake
of working hard is stupid. You know we’re all dead
at the end of this, right? And it’s not like hard work
is quality work. Woman: Compared to other
highly industrialized nations, the United States has one of the
longest average workweeks. According to several studies,
increased work hours tend to have an adverse effect
on productivity. If you work less,
you’ll be more productive. I’ve been trying to tell that
to Comedy Central, but they say they don’t have
monthly shows. The 40-hour workweek
is making us less productive and it’s ruining
our personal lives. Woman: The average American
age 25 to 54 with at least one child spends nearly nine hours a day
engaged in work, less than 3 hours for leisure, and a pathetic 1.2
caring for others. Perhaps the most stunning part of our insanely intense
work culture is that this country
does not require companies to offer parental leave. Parental leave in the U.S.
is so bad, they’ve stopped doing
Lamaze classes and just started to teach women
how to not let contractions disrupt their presentation. “And as you can see,
we’re doing much better in the fo-OOURRTH quart– Ahh…ahh…ah.” Obviously, that’s a joke. In my experience,
childbirth is easy. [ Laughter ] America, you’re doing it wrong. It’s time to rethink
the way we work, because happy workers
are better workers. And companies around the world are experimenting
with a four-day workweek. At a New Zealand based
financial-services firm called Perpetual Guardian,
starting next month, they will be implementing
a permanent four-day workweek after a successful trial
this past spring. Stress levels during that time
were reduced by 7%. 78% of employees said that they could manage
their work-life balance better, And social-media surfing
dropped by 35%. Okay, okay, I support
a four-day workweek. But a financial-services firm
in New Zealand? How much work
do they really have? They only got about five dollars
in the entire country. It’s just like, “Oh, Kevin’s
got some money, bro.” “Oh, no. I’ve heard that
Dave’s also got some money.” “Oh, we should — we should
put all the pebbles together and put them
in a big heap, bro.” “Oh, I like that, bro. Uh, what is four pebbles
plus four pebbles?” “That would be six, bro. Six.” [ Laughter ] Pebbles are their currency
because they’re inbred. [ Laughter ] The way Americans overwork
themselves is ludicrous. Pretty much every other
industrialized country gives employees
four weeks vacation. Germany has one of
the most generous vacation policies in the world,
and they give up to eight weeks, and they’re the ones
who lost the war. [ Laughter ] Though I’m okay with that,
to be honest, you know? We should encourage
the Germans to stay relaxed. We’ve seen what happens
when they get a little uptight. [ Laughter ] You might say they got
a little bit too much done. I think America should implement
a four-day workweek, but you won’t because it goes
against the American idea that if you’re not
killing yourself at work, you’re doing something wrong. But I have
an alternative suggestion. Just add an extra day
to the end of the week. Then you can work
your precious 40 hours and still get
a three-day weekend. There’d still be
365 days in the year, but since the weeks are longer,
we’d need fewer months. Obviously we’re gonna keep
October and December, because they’ve got
the best holidays. We’ll just get rid of March. [Bleep] March!
Nobody likes March! The — The only good day in
March is St. Patrick’s Day. But here’s the best bit. When it’s an 8-day week,
we’ll make one day every week St. Patrick’s Day,
so you’ll always get it. [ Cheers and applause ] Also, I’m getting rid of
6:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. Instead, 12:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m.
will now take three hours. That way, you’ll always leave
a party just after midnight. Sure, it will [bleep] over
some shift workers, but you chose to become a nurse. So, there you have it.
Jim’s 8-day week. [ Cheers and applause ] Now that Beatles song
makes sense. “Yellow Submarine.”
-Dude, I want to get into this
right here. How did you get involved —
Aviation Gin? What is going on?
This is, like — This is an American-made gin. -It’s an American gin. Little smoother than our —
its British counterparts, little more drinkable. Uh, wow.
I sound like a pro. -Yeah, you’re actually
good at this. -I really know nothing
about gin. If I ran the company for real,
it would be on fire. [ Laughter ] -No. It was —
I was in Vancouver, and I had been —
I was shooting. And I was shooting
a film out there. And I went to
this one restaurant. I ordered a Negroni.
And then I was — It was the best Negroni
I had ever had in my life. And I went back there
about eight more times before I finally asked the guy,
“What’s in this?” And he said it was Aviation Gin. So, I did a little research,
and it won — got, like, a 97 for wine — It was, like,
the highest-rated gin ever for that particular company. And it was tiny. So, I was able
to meet some of the owners and weasel my way in
as an owner. And I love it.
It’s amazing. -Where is this based out of?
-It’s based out of Portland. Portland, Oregon.
-Cheers. Was this just gin and soda? -Mine’s just straight gin. Yours has lots of soda
right there. -Wow.
[ Laughter ] I love it.
-Yeah. -Dude, it’s fantastic.
-Pretty great. -Refreshing.
-I know. So, it’s been fun. It’s been fun learning
kind of the ropes. You know, the liquor industry’s
kind of not unlike the — Yeah, there you go.
Kicking right in, huh? Yeah. I put a little
something extra in there. -[ Slurring ]
You’re my best friend. You’re my best friend.
-No, you hang up. No, you hang up.
-No, you hang up. [ Laughter ] It is tasty, man.
-I know. Pretty good, right? -Refreshing.
I love it. But now, dude,
now you go to meetings now? Are you, like —
-Loaded? Yeah, pretty much.
-No, no, no. I mean, no. Do you go into meetings and,
like, talk about the company? -Yeah. I kind of travel
all over the country. I meet buyers,
that sort of stuff. It’s, like, it’s a real,
genuine responsibility. But it’s not — it’s not too
dissimilar to the film industry. I mean, it’s all sort of based
on relationships and handshakes. You know, but what’s weird
and I found so ironic was that it’s
the liquor industry where you actually
have to be accountable. Like, in the — in the film
business, you can, you know — If you’re working on a movie, you can go out for a night
of drinking and then, you know, miss work because you
fell asleep on a stove. And no one’s gonna really
do much about it. But the liquor industry,
it’s hardcore. Yeah, you can’t — You don’t
mess up with those guys. Yeah. No.
-No, you can’t. But you said it’s like just
jumping into everything. Like, even jumping
into “Deadpool,” you didn’t know what —
what it was. -No. It was sort of — The whole thing’s been
an amazing learning experience. But you gotta trust your gut
on this kind of stuff. I mean, 11 years ago, I remember
reading a “Deadpool” comic and feeling like this is
a once-in-a-lifetime connection. And then a few years later,
I met my wife, and I was like, “Oh, I guess
a once-in-a-lifetime connection can happen twice.” And then — And then
we had our children. And that’s when I realized
that I love gin. [ Laughter and applause ] I just… I took the passion… -Of course. Of course.
-I went deep with the passion. Right? So, that’s when I bought —
I bought Aviation Gin. -That’s fantastic, dude.
-Yeah. -I know that if you do
go on vacation, you have to have
an out-of-office e-mail reply that people do. And you’re not really
used to those type of — -No. It’s all so formal.
Yeah. Suddenly, I have, like,
a pseudo-cyber office when I have to be — again,
I have to be accountable. So when I’m away, I have to send
out out-of-office e-mails. So, if you e-mail me
at the company, you get a response back,
at least. And it’s, yeah, been fun. -And some people told you to,
you know, just keep it short and sweet. -Keep it short and sweet.
-Out of the office. -Nothing personal.
-Not checking my e-mail. -Be back — Yeah.
-Yeah. -So, I went deep.
-This is six paragraphs long. It’s just —
-Yeah, yeah. -This is your
out-of-office e-mail reply. We highlighted some stuff. -Yeah. It was — It was fun.
-In case you want to just — -It was a bit of an overshare.
I enjoyed it. Yeah, so this is only my second
out-of-office reply. And from what I’m told, it should be short, sweet,
never personal. I said, “This Father’s –”
This is for Father’s Day. I said, “This is
the perfect time to give your dad the best
Aviation American Gin.” I said, “While my own father
may be gone, the unspoken tension we shared
is alive and well. This Father’s Day, you may not be able to give Dad
a second chance, but you can give him a bottle
of Aviation American Gin. Or if he died
before either of you could even begin to comprehend
the importance of closure, just get yourself a bottle. [ Laughter ] Happy Father’s Day. Ryan Reynolds, owner,
Aviation Gin.” Yeah. I mean, that’s just
an out-of-office reply. Short and sweet. -Yeah. -Short and sweet.
Nothing too personal. -I have one right now, if you e-mail me
at [email protected] You get one right now. I’ll tell you
exactly where I am. -Really?
-Yeah, yeah. It’s true. Yeah. I have one personalized
for “The Tonight Show” even. -You will?
-Yeah. -So, if you e-mail [email protected]– -Probably shouldn’t give
my e-mail address on live television.
-Yeah, that’s a big mistake. You’re gonna get e-mails, dude. -Works for everybody else.
Works for politicians. -Yeah.
Once again a half day today?! Come here! What happened? What’s the time? Excuse me! What is the time according to your watch? 6:30! His watch is working fine dude! I thought your watch has gone faulty! I didn’t get that! So you’re bad at maths? No! Didn’t you go for a smoke break? Yes I did, so what? That’s why… You can check the sheet, I’m the last one to leave the office everyday! I don’t care! Whether you are the first one to come or last one to leave, I don’t care! Come to the point dude, I’ve lot of work! The point is, my dear colleague… If someone comes to work at 9 am… And finishes their work and wants to leave at 6 pm… Then that’s 9 hours of me slogging my ass here! 9 hours! Out of the 24 hours of my day… That I’ve given to this company! 9 precious hours of my life that I’ll never get back… 9 hours of slogging is what I’m paid for… Nothing more, nothing less! Now the problem is that people like you stay here in the office whole night… Show that you’re working… Which creates the impression that… He’s such a hard working employee, he’s so serious and committed… Works full night out here! Some of them stay here just for the free AC and WiFi… This… Satish… He sits here to watch porn all night… His work gets over by 9 PM but he would mail that 1:30 in the night… Just so that the boss thinks that he was working till 2 AM, so hard working he is… All of them are hard working… All of them are committed… We… Who are sitting here since morning and working with focus, without interruption and without any break… Trying to leave by 6 in the evening. What do we get to hear?! Half day! Amazing! Leaving on a half day today! What half day?! Does anybody asks you… That how many breaks you took in those 15 hours that you worked?! 30 cigarette breaks! After that tea break, toilet break, lunch break, yesterday’s match analysis break… Heated political debate break, juicy office gossip break, etc., etc. Including all these breaks you convert a 9 hour job into a 12-15 hour job… What kind of efficiency is that?! What do we do with such inefficient people?! We give them too much importance… He works till 2 AM, lets give him promotion! This one works till 4 AM, we’ll send him to London on-site next year! Why? Why is staying late at work considered a virtue? Why are we rewarding and glorifying it? And the people who are efficient, who want to finish their work on time and leave… What do we do with them? We penalise them! We judge them, we make them feel guilty for their choices to leave on time, why?! Who’s to be blamed for this?! You! And an office culture that has gone unchecked for decades now! Just because you work for 18 hours you think you have achieved something really big or what?! The company has put up a photo of yours out here- “Star performer of the month” “Employee of the month”! That made you really happy?! Whomsoever’s photo is put here, is the biggest loser in life! Because he doesn’t even know that there exists a life outside this cubicle! Which is very important for me! When I leave this work and go out there are N number of things I want to do… I might have a wife, family, a friend… whoever I want to meet… I might want to go the pub with my friends and watch a game or… Play a game myself! Maybe I want to go for a run or read a book! In my time… In me time… And I’ve every goddamn right to do that! You tell me, what else do you know apart from these “Office Skills”? What do you know? Can you play guitar? Cooking, fishing, trekking… Have you ever done anything of that sort? Have you ever gone for a walk with your kid, had icecream with him? When will you do all this? Isn’t it important?! Now you’ll say you’ll do it over the weekend… Who said that? Is life meant to be lived only on Sunday?! Which company said that slog from Monday to Saturday… And live your life only on Sunday!? Where’s it written? How old are you? 30 right?! 10 years later you’ll be 40 then 50… And one day just like that while paying EMIs and bills, you’ll die and nobody would give a damn! And while dying you’ll think, “What did I do?”… Spent the life with keyboard… and nothing else! I don’t want to die like that! So I’m gonna go right now and enjoy the other half day of my life! Good luck with your full day! Kuku are you coming? Or your full day is still pending?
-And I’m Jaboukie. And when we’re not on
The Daily Show, -we run a lucrative…
-And unlicensed. -real estate business.
-Oh, yeah. -Straight cash, none
of that Venmo shit. -Mm-mm. WOOD: If you got the cash
and you’re looking for a home, it’s time for you to meet… BOTH:
The Property Brothas. (Wood grunts) Today we’re in Jamaica, Queens to see the childhood home
of Donald Trump. That’s right.
The actual home where our president lived
until age four, is just sitting on the market. While the outside
might not look too Trumpy, the inside is very much… What the (bleep)? YOUNG-WHITE: Hold up.
This is Trump’s house? WOOD:
Uh… No. It’s… Did we use
Apple Maps to get here? Because this might be wrong. J-Dawg, I’m blown away. This house
looks extremely normal. Like, right here. This is not what
you would expect to see -in a house like this.
-YOUNG-WHITE: I was expecting something much longer,
something more of, like, a he’s on this side,
Daddy’s over there. -Very far apart.
Not what I was expecting. WOOD: This 2,500 square foot
Tudor style home comes with four bedrooms
and what we think is real gold. This is actually the only gold
in the entire house right here. How much you think we could get
for this shit? -I’m thinking at least $500.
-Let’s get this. -You want to pop it right now?
-Yeah. (mumbles) Uh, actually,
let’s-let’s hold off on that. Let’s hold. Wait till the… -And on to the next room.
-Yes. -This place is just fine.
-The living room looks like a failed
black sitcom from the ’90s. YOUNG-WHITE:
It’s not Trumpy. It looks Eric Trump at best. No matter how it looks
on the inside, we’ve got to play up
the Trump factor and sell this home to someone -who loves Trump.
-Hates Trump. -Hates Trump.
-Loves Trump. WOOD:
We didn’t have time to argue. We had to show this place
to real couples looking to buy
their first home. -Okay.
-Okay, so, as you can see, it’s a very traditional style. Four bedroom,
great space in the backyard. WOOD: Well, what’s
your first reactions to this? Um, well,
the open space is good. The Trump memorabilia -is definitely bumming me out
a little bit. -It’s everywhere. -Like, Trump is everywhere
in this room. -Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Donald Trump
is definitely not my person. He doesn’t live here anymore. -WOOD: Yeah, this is…
-ELIZABETH: “Anymore”? -“Anymore”? -Well,
this is the childhood home of President Donald Trump. That’s… That’s weird, man.
It’s a little weird -in a… in a bad way.
-It’s a little weird. It can feel anxious at first
because it’s new, it’s big, you’re feeling a lot. But I think there’s a lot
of excitement there that we could really work with. WOOD:
We tried to help these couples picture filling this house
with the love so clearly missing
from Trump’s childhood, but they kept getting hung up
on the little things. Everything about it
makes me uncomfortable. I really don’t like the idea
of living in his house. Who wouldn’t want to live
and raise their children in the same place that a legend
once laid their head, like Elvis at Graceland? Who wouldn’t want to live
at Paisley Park where Prince was? Neverland Ranch. -Mm.
-No? I just want a comfortable home. -Where Donald Trump
hasn’t lived. -Yeah. Come on. I mean,
look at this house as an investment opportunity. You take it, and you turn it
into a Trump museum, and you charge
those mother(bleep) $35 a head. -Wouldn’t you want to get money
from it, man? -Right. I would, but it’s not a priority of having a house
that I would like to live in. I’m with you.
You don’t like Trump. There are other people
who don’t like him, either. You have those people come in,
charge them admission, they get to destroy
a piece of Trump’s childhood. -How about that?
-Wait, you’re talking about turning this
into, like, a rage room -where they can trash it?
-Absolutely. Break a chair, destroy a table, burn a flag, do something. What are you gonna do
after you trash this place? Turn it into a mosque. That way, we can tell Trump,
“Go back to where you came from. Psych, bitch.
It’s a mosque now.” The brothers don’t seem
to be listening to us at all. We’ve told them multiple times
that we don’t want this house. And then one of them
keeps pulling me aside and keeps trying
to sell me gold. How much would you give me
for that? Nothing. It’s real. It’s real what? Gold. (sighs) As is with every episode,
we lost the sale. An even though
we can’t sell the house… We’ll sell as much of it
as we can. Come on! Come on! (cheering and applause)