The Office – Parkour


www.youtube.com/mzfilmz CC : By MZFILMZ Parkour [Dwight] Michael – Parkour Parkour Extreme – Parkour Parkour This is Parkour, Internet sensation of 2004 And it was in one of the Bond films Its pretty impressive, the goal is to get from point A to point B – as creatively as possible So technically they are doing parkour, As long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital. Parkour, Whaa Woohoo, yeahh oh yeahh Leapfrog- Do it! Ok yeah, PARKOUR Get off – Ok. Parkour! Jump over the camera, Jump over the camera Ok, we all go together or we go one at a time Here it is, uh, Truck to refrigerators to dumpster, 360 spin onto the pallets, then backflip gainer into the trash can Yeah yeah, Parkour Parkour, Parkour parkour! Im right behind you Andy, come on, do it, yeah *Refrigerator Crunching* [Andy](in pain) Parkour.. ♫ The Office Theme Song ♫

The Try Guys’ Surprise Office Makeover


(all speaking over one another) – [Ned] I’m so excited, I’m so excited! – [Try Guys] Okay, one, two, three. Move that bus! Oh! (upbeat rock music) (upbeat eclectic music) Hello! – [Eugene] Welcome. – Happy makeover day! (Try Guys cheering) – [Eugene] Come on in. – Hi I’m Ariel, I’m an interior designer. I’m also Ned’s wife, and I’m going to makeover
the Try Guys office. I brought my tools. – [Ned] Oh thank you,
we don’t have any tools. – No, I know.
– We got four of them. – So it feels really weird
making over the guys office because it used to be Ned and my house. We left behind the
furniture we didn’t want, kind of the rejects, and
they sort of just decided that that was their
furniture now for the office. This is your office now,
how are you liking it? – It looks terrible. (laughing) – Initial impressions? Um, garbage. It’s smelly, it’s cramped. – When I come into the
office every morning I just get this feeling of, oh boy. – This apartment is like the fourth child, just only wearing hand-me-downs. – No one should have to work
from an old kitchen table, or an old ratty couch. – I think the best way to describe it is as if a company was in college. (chuckles) – These four guys are very close friends and they are doing awesome awesome stuff. The work they are
putting into this company should be reflected in
the space they work in. Okay so talk to me about
the vibe that you want. – We need space for now and room to grow. – This looks professional
but also looks like the guys. Like Keith, personal
but looks fucking great. – Yeah, I would love this
place to remind me of me. (laughs) – So what’s your plan for this space? – Well it looks completely
different now that there’s no stuff in here. It also looks like a shit hole. – Okay, your words are hurtful. – First thing we’re gonna do is we are gonna paint the whole house. This space should be fun,
it should be professional. You should walk in and
think this is awesome. – I’m very big on function over fashion. – What would make me happy is just color. I hate how bland and white this room is. – Yeah, bare walls are no fun. – I can’t be the only one
imagining bear walls now, right? Like rawr. – I thought you meant bare walls, like no clothing, just a bunch of butts. – Oh. – I can see how we’d be
difficult as clients. – We have a big colorful rug, we’re going to be adding a small
couch to that front space. One side of the office is
gonna be primarily desks. I’m gonna try and create
three different spaces; two for shooting, we’ll
have two chairs in a corner so that will be a completely
separate shooting space. We’re gonna have a viewing
space in there as well. And this is going to
be one big accent wall. (guys cheering) Ned is in charge of that accent wall. – Hey! – Art is tricky when you’re working in shooting spaces because
things are copyrighted, so we’re gonna make our own art. We’re gonna be putting a
big Try Guys text thing right here, and a neon sign. I’m gonna be giving the
guys one DIY project to do. Zach and Keith, you are in
charge of the neon sign. – Oh! – Mistake. (laughs) – I think it’s gonna look great, but it really will be
what the guys make it. – So Ned’s in charge of the accent wall? – What are you in charge of? – I wore jorts for you. – Yeah those are really good jorts. So Eugene you are in charge
of this entire accent wall. – Wow. – This wall was inspired by a turtleneck that you wear sometimes. – [Eugene] Which turtleneck? – [Ariel] It’s like blue, and purple. – [Eugene] And mint, and gray. – Wait so it takes three
of us to paint one wall, and Eugene is doing one by himself? – I got no problem with that. – I got no problem with that. – It’s how we live our life. – In the old dining room we’re gonna switch out the light
fixture and we’re gonna turn that more into a transitional space. We’re gonna create a DIY bar space. We are going to put
more desks in that space so that it can really feel like an office. – Let’s do it! – On one, two, three! Ariel’s husband! – Let’s go! – Try Guys Game Time! (upbeat music) – Okay so Ariel we are gonna
do the accent wall now. – Yes. – Ooh it’s so beautiful. What color have you chosen? – I’ve chosen turquoise. – Ooh. – Ooh it’s like aqua. – Yeah. – You are looking for something
that has a pop of color, it’s kinda fun, you guys are
gonna walk into your office and you’re gonna be like
I like working here. – Oh yeah! Oh it looks like cotton candy. The new color of The Try Guys! – You’re very good at that
look at you using your thang. – It’s not my first paint job. Wow your roller really is a
lot bigger than mine, huh? – Maybe I’m ready to
compensate for something. Ready? – And… – Woo! – Woo, Yeah! – This is like an aquarium in here. – It’s not quite any
one of our four colors. It’s a little bit of green,
a little bit of blue, a little bit of pink, and
just a hint of purple. – It’s neither of those
things, it’s actually halfway between Zach’s and Keith’s. – Okay, cool cool. Cool cool cool, but like a little splash of
pink, and a dash of purple. – Nope. – But like a little
simmering of pink on top, and some purple mist. – You’re really reachin’ for it right now. – Yeah it’s all four
of us, yeah I love it. Great. You’re so smart. Okay, so it’s gonna be our logo and then a little triceratops sculpture. – Yeah. – So we’re just gonna
hope that Zach and Keith don’t mess up the focal
point of the entire room? – Yeah, yeah, basically. – Hmm hmm. – What’s up nerds? – Hey! – So today you guys are gonna be on your very own DIY project. I know. We’re gonna make a DIY neon sign. – Yeah we’re doing glass blowing? – Yeah, actually I have it all. (blowing) (laughs) No, we’re using electroluminescent wire. This is what all the DIY
bloggers are talking about. – Oh yeah. – Holy shit it’s beeping and flashing! – Yo, we’re ready for a rave. – This is actually a pretty simple… I hesitated to say simple because you guys are gonna take hours. – It takes hours, or
we’re gonna take hours? – You are gonna take hours. – Love the vote of confidence. – This is the amount of space you have. It should be about three meters. And we need to draw out
what we want to make. But the one rule is you
cannot pick up your pen because you only have one wire. So it has to be a line drawing. – So it’s just gonna be a single trace. Like an out. Okay. We draw the shape, then
we make the shape in this, glue this to the EL
wire, boom, triceratops. Done. Easy. – Easy peasy. – Exactly. – Easy peasy lemon squeezy! – Give me a challenge, bro! – Okay so this project
is the one I’m actually the most excited about. – Yeah! – We’re doing a color block wall. I chose gray, dark blue,
teal, and millennial pink. – Millennial pink? – Millennial pink. You know what millennial pink is, right? – Believes in themselves, supported by his parents through college. – Yeah, 100%. – Millennial pink. – So what we have to do
is we have to sketch out the color block pattern
that we want to do. – [Eugene] Yes. – Now we could go stripes, but my thought, and let me know if you
agree, is triangles. – Yes! Triangles. – I think maybe slashing
through the doorway could be really fun. – Why don’t we slash through it twice? – Let’s do it! – Yeah. – I trust you, you’re
gonna nail it, alright – Cool. – Good luck. – Thanks Ariel. I have the most important wall. Because if I fuck this up
the room will look like shit. Okay. – I really, at this
point I have no advice. It’s looking really, really good. – How’s it look? Does it look okay? – Okay uh we have a lot of work to do, we’re gonna go with pretty good. – You think it’s a little
bit too far that way? – Nope. Honey, really. – Okay, okay. – Seriously. – If I get shocked and start
thriving on the ground, please turn off the cameras and revive me. Ayy! Edison bulb. Guys, we work in a startup now. It’s not actually on. That one’s not on. What did I do wrong? – I’m not good at drawing. – What does a triceratops look like? It’s got a butt. – We’re not startin’ off good. – Not the worst first draft. – Think we need a… (laughs) You know some
paintings in a museum look like a child did it, but actually
that’s what makes it art, because a child didn’t do it. – I drew Keith! – Bear in mind, all triceratops
are artist representations of what they think they
probably look like. Nobody has a photograph. – Well someone has a photograph. – No one has a photograph. – I mean, someone has a photograph. – Photography is like– – It’s not a digital photo – A little over a century old. – Right. – So, no. – I feel like you’re making
yourself look stupid right now. – Well at least Eugene’s
wall will look good. Right? – So I painted the wall in
different ways on my computer to see what color combination looks best. – Love it. You’re a genius. – Dark navy should be the focal point with this wall since the rest
of the room is so bright. Ooh. I love the dark blue. It’s like my soul. – Now they’re both on
and now this one goes off and that one stays on? What have I done? That’s for the living room. Let’s turn on the switch. Ready? Damn it. Could the black be orange? Reset the circuit breaker. Here we go. Let’s figure this out. What the heck am I doing wrong? I’m so confused. Nice! Feels good! Feels good, we’re doin’ it! It looks great honey. We’re gonna turn that, into that. I’ve never been focused on anything more in my life. – [Keith] You have a kid. (laughter) – So, we drew a bunch of
different versions of this single line cursive. This is the one we’ve settled on, however unfortunately it does not
translate to wire at all. – [Keith] It looks like a shadow puppet. – Yeah. Life uh, finds a way of
making things harder. – Paint it blue and call it a day. – [Zach] Right. – Okay so Ariel I’m gonna
do the rest of these letters and then we’re
basically done right? We’re ready for the final reveal? – Did you realize we don’t
have any furniture in here? Half has gone to the garden. It’s still covered in plastic. – Ariel that sounds like a lot of work. Looks like you’re gonna
need some montage magic. Montage magic. (fast upbeat music) Let’s go! (upbeat music) – [Distorted Voice] Montage magic. – [Ned] Oh my god, oh my
god, oh my god, oh my god. Hello! – [All] Hi! – [Ariel] Hi! Come on in! – [Ned] Okay. (excited murmuring) – [All] One, two, three. Move that bus! (exclaiming and yelling) – [Ned] Look at all this color. – [Zach] The work I did was really only 2% (laughs) Look at our new office, oh my god this is so exciting! – [Ned] And we have the
photos from our shoot. – [Keith] Oh I love this. – Now it feels like it’s
finally The Try Guys office. – [Ariel] You’ve got two
shooting spaces here, so you’ve got your couch shooting space with non-copyrighted
art, and you have your chair shooting space
with non-copyrighted art. – [Zach] Is it weird that the first thing I reacted to was these
baskets on the wall? – It’s our four colors
with the blue in the couch. – Keith is the couch. – I’m the couch! – Wow, my wife is awesome. – [Zach] Can we keep going? (excitedly talking at the same time) – Beautiful Keith! (screaming) – We did it! We did it! There’s pictures of us
everywhere, which means there’s pictures of me everywhere. It’s a great design choice,
I recommend it for your home. – It’s bright, it’s colorful,
it makes a statement, and it’s comfortable! – Can I stand against the walls? – Yes, go go go! It’s so good! – This is the first time
a wall has been based off of my choice in turtlenecks,
but I’m impressed. – [Ned] Man our office
was so shitty before. – [Zach] I was ready to quit before this, but you got me, I’m in. – Really truly, a transformed space. You did it in such a
short amount of time too. – What was the total cost? – Under $3,500. – Really? Wow.
– What? – I think it turned out great. – I only cared about functionality, I got so much more than that! It’s also really cool. – It’s gotta be said, the color? – When you walk into the space now, you feel like there’s
a business being run. – We’ve hit so many milestones, from starting a channel,
to starting a Patreon, and now I feel like we
have an actual office. It’s awesome. Thank you so much. – You’re welcome. You know, I want this
to have a happy ending, but I think that neon sign
is just a little dinky. – I give it six months
before we replace that. (laughs) (upbeat music) I’m ready for my torah portion. – Mozel tov! – Thank you. (drops hammer) – Mazel tov. Mazel tov. – [Keith] He better not be painting me. – Mazel tov.

FAN FOUND MY *SECRET* OFFICE! (Studio Tour)


I have to say goodbye to the office today. We’re about to tear her down Strip her completely naked and move her to a new place No, Nick nobody’s getting naked I’m talking I’m having an emotional moment with my old office stop stop Ooo these are nice flowers. Wait his office has to be around here soon. Oh, this looks like a secret door Preston are you in here Nick Preston. What are you doing? Found you. I heard you had a secret office and I wanted… Nick It’s a secret. You’re not supposed to know about this. I thought it was a fan! I thought it was a viewer. I love my fans, but this is my house. I’m your biggest fan though You can’t just come to my house right now. But this is the secret lesson school like this office is so secret I have two doors. Look this is door number one And it works you all and that’s door number two Because look it’s so secret that you’re not even supposed to know about this office What why you were supposed to know people who work with me aren’t supposed to know Nobody’s supposed to know it’s my office It’s secret Nick stop. Okay, so I can’t come in the secret office No, if you bring me check for you can come in one eternity later Preston Preston Preston Yes outside, what do you want Nick I said you had a bring a chick boy that’s hot chick boy Depends. What is it? Okay, so they would let me go through the drive through There so ice in here though is gonna pending on what drink, this is Nick I won’t let you into the office Do you know what my favorite is you’ve gotta check play with me before you should know the answer. Is it milk? That’s disgusting whatever want to have milk from chick boy, I don’t know maybe they had good oh, is it Nick um Cold good cool one Preston no, sir. I just want to say that ladies and gentlemen, you gotta get the hottest merch in this scene right now We are pressing Stiles merch we’ve launched so many new items colors of hoodies all kinds of crazy stuff at the web store Preston sales.com You can check out the card up above here somewhere or down below in the description. It’s just Preston Stiles calm. Look at this It’s new go check it out down below in the description all kinds of sales happen during the summer. Um, I gotta go Take care of this. Just go check I Don’t know why I had to film this vlog naked today You never had to film the vlog naked. That was your own prerogative Okay, what property productivity barakah TIF that’s the right word. I’m looking for look today We have to tear down the old office because we are going to be moving it to my new studio at my house and I’m never gonna see you again, and I’m so unhappy very Sorry Feel like I’m Michael Scott right now And this is no you’re not someone say make it I feel like I’m Michael Scott right now and you’re Toby from the office That’s not a very mean thing to say dude. That’s not a very mean thing to say No, that’s a very mean they had to change my mind I was like, they just really don’t like you, but I need you at the same time You know, like I really don’t need doughnuts, but I really like them. So it’s kind the same thing with you except the opposite You’re stupid go get some coffee up I Was gonna I was gonna drive this time the doors not The door that’s that’s honestly your fault. So I’ll just hop inside the Tesla and there we go Okie dokie, this is good how to lock the doors No Preston you I was gonna lock but I was gonna lock the door I Was gonna so you’re driving or what? I actually actually don’t know how to drive. Well today, you know how to drive Nick. Okay Tesla Do you think well see the car’s name is Preston drives, so it doesn’t drive for anybody except for Preston That’s actually a really smart feature. Yeah Also, I am driving This is the hot guy behind them all those hot guy number one There’s there’s there’s two hot guys here that are working behind the – yeah One of the boards on my wedding we made that judgment who made that Alice you see he’s hot But he’s not as hot as the other two that I chose. Where do I right? Kind of like in that 100 percentile, you know what I mean? You didn’t Wow, I’m really good. Well like it’s a relative scale Okay 100 that’s like God didn’t like number 100,000 I forgot that a couple of smiles. So I mean the top one hundred thousand one hundred million There’s seven billion people in Texas very good. Can I get a medium Dunking them up great Trustin. Hi, welcome to start by Pressing you’re not allowed to another job. Welcome to redefine native you already too much stuff to do You can’t keep getting more job trying to order a latte. Is he catching on? No, no Are the worst water we have that’s that’s how I feel when he’s at Mile it’s to Preston. He doesn’t really get this handled Okay, we’re doing a pretty good job, honestly, how do I add the planner to see? I don’t have the points I don’t want to receive sir I’m gonna put my points. Well, you can’t show that’s my number. Oh my god Where do I rank, but did it change? Some 100 million which is pretty good. Hey, you like that ticket? Preston come on. Stop messing around we gotta go around guy’s hand. Give us some camo. I thought you’re over there Busting I think I’m just gonna wait for this guy together. I don’t want to go home in your tonsil anymore. That’s funny No, wait, actually, it’s kind of hot. He could be in there for a while Where’s the computer I thought we’re keeping on here for me. No. Yeah, look at it look at it. No, it’s you Know we’re pretty good there precedent Looks like pretty happy. Okay. I got a nice little pose there in your lines. I like it. Well put your legs Okay, we’re good We’re putting it in my car so I can take it home I’m gonna play so much for tonight on this thing. How are we gonna get it out? We’re gonna park my car in the office you got a buffalo. I don’t think that Wow pretty good Look at you you’re gonna make a good dad someday Buckle in safety first Oh am I gonna make a good sack? Dad? Someday? I’ll make a great dad someday Actually that’s coming in the blow. I’ve announced them to me, you know computer I know Preston dropped you but you’re gonna love living in my house. I have so many friends well You’re just gonna love it Mom big strong hands. I’m just tying the knot man. You’ve got that was a lame joke. You’re already married You can’t make puns about it soon. I’ll be a dad Do it tight do it. Yeah you got this There’s a problem this cable it’s not plugged in what kites gonna solve this Look at these dirty workers, you know, it’s only 8:30 Nick in the morning I’m gonna go outside It does kind of look like 8:30 in the morning Is it 8:30 in the morning spirit? Why do my wife you’re keeping secrets already we going to married for a month? So I wanted to give you guys like an updated view of what the studio we call this the studio it’s not the office you guys have seen the office in a lot of videos before this is the studio at Brandeis new house since we’ve been married and what you guys probably have seen already. It’s it’s changed quite a bit So I’m gonna give you guys a little bit of a tour Here we have Billy he’s my new friend is that his actual name though. I named him Billy when I get a little jealous, but I love Billy. It’s easy Wow more affection than India and by the way guys, can you leave a like down below on this video? I can promise for tons of freebie bucks You messed up the purpose Anyways, like I was saying we upgraded our camera to a 4k camera It looks like the news station these guys right here they like the green screen and then these two back here like the back of my head in the back of my shoulders and then You’ve already seen these two big ones in the front Katinka chain. Yeah, you know those do those make my eyes bleed eight hours a day But I love it because I can’t go videos Oh, this is what Bayesian Canadian or Mitch got us at our rehearsal dinner the day before we got married. It’s just We’re not really sure what it is. But if you touch it it falls over This is a wedding gift from Rob and the cosmic team So cool. It shows the launch of cosmic all the way up until latest update of cosmic. It’s so beautiful. Alright guys. Thank you So much for watching this video. Seriously. You guys are the best this studio this house? none of us would be possible without any of you guys in the massive amount of support you guys give us every single day of All of our videos on all three of our channels. We appreciate it so much you guys and gals are awesome Let me know what you guys think about the studio down below in the comments. Take care. Keep dabbing. I’ll see you guys next time

Alex Rodriguez Helps American Idol’s Brian Dunkleman Get Back to Work


-I want to talk about
your new show. I love it.
“Back in the Game.” I love this idea.
I love everything about it. Explain to everyone what it is. -Yeah, so, “Back in the Game”
is basically taking athletes, entertainers,
and celebrities that have gone from rags to riches
to rags. Michael Strahan is my partner.
He’s my executive producer. We both produced it. And, you know,
the bottom line is — you have so many great people
that fall on hard times. -Sure.
-And we all need coaching. I remember when I went through
my really difficult time with my suspension in 2014. I had some incredible people to pull their hand out
and help me. Not only help me, but coach me. And one thing about athletes —
they’re great students, and they want help. And you think about
Evander Holyfield, who I end up loving
and grew up watching him. And seeing this guy
being taken advantage of and the way we’ve been able
to put him back and put systems around
him to help him get his life back in order — -But this —
The third episode, I believe, is Brian Dunkleman… -That’s right. -…who I knew from when I did
stand-up in L.A. But he was — if you don’t
remember his name — the first —
He was the co-host of “American Idol”
with Ryan Seacrest. -He was on this trajectory to
become, you know, the next Ryan Seacrest. Now, Ryan became came to be one
of the biggest stars around, and Brian just fell into
tough times, ’cause he made some
tough decisions. -Yeah.
-But then depression came in. And, you know, as an athlete,
they say you die twice — once when you retire
and real death. And I saw that firsthand
with Brian. And we needed to get him
back on his feet, not have the victim
own his mistakes, because that’s the
most important part. But then what you started seeing
is a guy that was talented, a guy that had charisma,
a good-looking guy. He went from “American idol”
co-host to driving Uber. And it’s — it’s —
In many ways, it’s so sad. And I’ve had
so many people call, and they want to be
a part of the show. They want to be a part of this, because it’s the right thing
to do for these guys. And no one wants to see
their legends fall on tough times. -It’s a really cool episode.
I want to show everyone a clip. Here’s Alex Rodriguez and former “American idol”
host Brian Dunkleman in next week’s episode of
“Back in the Game.” Take a look. -And how much were
they paying you? -I was making like
18 grand a week. -So you’re making around
$72,000 a month. -Oh, God.
-Right? In 2002. Is there a small part of you
that says like, “This is big money. I need this money for my family,
for my future.” -Oh, my God. There was no thought of a family
or no thought of a future. It just — It didn’t register. -By walking away from a show, does that automatically put you
on a blacklist? -Yes. All of a sudden,
my manager never returned
another call of mine. And then I went three years
without working. Drank too much,
gambled too much, drugs. And I was high.
So my money went. It went like that. -Ooh! That’s amazing. It’s good for you
to help him out and get him on the right track. I love this show.
I’m so happy you’re doing it. Alex Rodriguez, everybody. Check out “Back in the Game” Wednesday nights
at 10:00 p.m. on CNBC.

Eight Times Dwight Got Revenge on Jim – The Office (Mashup)


-I’m sorry, Mr. Decker,
I think — I think I’m lo–
I think I’m losing you. Hello? Hello? Yeah. Hold on one sec–
I don’t know. Hold on one second. Do you really have to do that
right now? -Yes. I do. I should’ve done this
weeks ago, actually. -Mr. Decker.
I’m sorry about that. What were you– Can you hold on
one second? Yeah, just one second. [ Shredder powers down ] Hello? That’s it. Perfect. So, what I was saying — Hello? -Thanks, Dwight. -Whoa! And he just goes, “Boom!”
Goal! -That’s Pele.
-You know your soccer, man. -I prefer Maradona. Uh…Diego Maradona. -Oh yeah?
-From Argentina. -I didn’t know we had so many
soccer fans in the office. -I mean, to be fair,
I was the first one to talk about it, but… -What about you, Jim?
You a fan of the game? -Oh, no. Nope.
Not really. -It’s not for everybody,
I suppose. -[ Laughs] -It’s ’cause I’m
more of a player. -Yeah?
-You bet. -Really, Jim? I had no idea
you played soccer, ’cause you never,
ever talk about it. -Well, I do.
-Wow.
-I play. -You can be
so modest sometimes. -Well, maybe you should
get back to work. -Maybe you and Charles should
kick the soccer ball around. -Maybe we will someday. -Maybe you will tonight
after work. What do you say? -That’s a great idea, Dwight. -Great ideas are just part
of what I bring to the table. I don’t try and be
anything that I’m not. -What do you say, Jim? Huh?
Want to play some soccer? -Jim, what do you say?
-I’m in it to win. -Game on!
-Okay. See you on the field,
there, bro. -See you. -I can’t wait! -Get him, Jim!
Come on, tough D, Jim. -Oh, my God!
Oh, wow. -Jim, what the…? -Phyllis, are you okay?
Are you okay? -No. I swallowed a crown. -Why’d you duck, Jim?
-What? -Yeah, Jim. Why would an
experienced soccer player like yourself duck
at the very last moment? -Okay, I’m just gonna go
get some ice. -Does that make you
feel better? Huh? -I’m sorry, Phyllis. -Oh, yeah. Jim’s sorry. -Hey, Jimmy, what’s up? -Not much.
-Cool. Very cool. I bet if you tried,
you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office.
-[ Laughs ] Thanks, Dwight. -That laugh
is so infectious. -You’re creeping me out.
I’m gonna go. -I didn’t mean any of those
things I just said — and you can expect the same
from everyone in this office if you don’t nip this whole
Employee of the Month situation in the bud. Make it about the work. -Let me guess, you think
you should get it. -This encompasses
all available data — hours, tardiness, unconfirmed
sick days, participation. Everyone has been assigned
a random number for total fairness
and transparency. -I’m gonna run this
by Toby and Accounting, and have them
assemble the data. -That’s okay.
I’ll do it. -And the winner is… employee number nine. And that is? -Number nine. Number nine… Jim Halpert.
-What? -Huh?
-What? -Are you kidding me?
-Oh, no! -Okay, wait, I was not…
I did not… -I…I…I did not…
That was not…How come not? -Guys, listen.
This was anonymous, alright? There is no way I could’ve
given it to myself, because I didn’t even know
who was on here. I just gave it to the employee
with the highest overall score. -To my tally, you just won back
your own parking spot, a vacation day, and a nice tidy
quarter of $1,000 from all of us. [ Indistinct shouting ] -[Whispering] Hey.
-It’s a miracle. She loves him. -I don’t know about “love.” -She loves me. -Outside, my car,
two minutes. -Well, something’s come up.
I have to go. -No, no, no, no, no.
She’ll wake up. -I have something to do.
-I know what you have to do. Please stay with Cece. -I will require beer and pizza
to think this over. -Absolutely.
-From Jim. -I don’t think that’s gonna —
-Do it. -What kind of pizza
would you like? -Surprise me. No. Pepperoni. -Insert it in my mouth. -That’s not gonna make
your pizza-eating experience any better. Trust me.
-Oh, try me. -Jim, just don’t
think of it as degrading. Think of it as
you happen to be moving the pizza 6 inches his way,
and he happens to be biting it. -I’d prefer for him to
think of it as degrading. Crust first. Okay. Now, the beer. Beer me, Jim. -Gentle. -That’s perfect. -If we can get him
to drive to Connecticut, and put peroxide in his hair…
-What the hell is this? What are you, trying to cop a
feel or something, Halpert? -Dude, no.
-Hey! Hey! -Listen. Whoa.
-Come on. -God, I don’t even — I don’t
even know how to explain this. Um, uh, Dwight, asked me to
be in an alliance. And then, um…um…we were… we’ve just been
messing with him, uh, because of
the whole alliance thing. -It’s just office pranks.
-It’s stupid. It’s just office pranks.
-An alliance? What the hell is he
talking about? -I have absolutely
no idea. -Come on. -Do I feel bad
about betraying Jim? Not at all. That’s the game — convince him we’re in
an alliance, get some information,
throw him to the wolves. That’s politics, baby — get what you can out of someone,
then crush them. I think Jim might have learned
a very valuable lesson. -Hey, Dwight. [ Everybody “oh”s, laughs ] -Damn it, Jim, you cannot
throw snowballs in here! -Well, it’s not a snowball, ’cause it’s only a dusting,
right? -You apologize to me
right now. -You’ve have something
on your nose. -You apologize right now. -No.
-Very well. Then, I challenge you
to a snowball fight on the first real snow
of winter. -You got it. [ Phone dialing ] [ Phone ringing ]-You’ve reached the voicemail
of Dwight Kurt Schrute.
Please leave —
[ Phone beeps ] -[ Shouts ] [ Continues shouting ] -Stop! Stop! -[ Grunts ] I have no feeling
in my fingers or penis, but I think
it was worth it. [ Yells ] -Um, I was laying on the ground,
defenseless, and, uh, he just kept throwing
them until he exhausted himself. And, uh… [ Cellphone chimes ] “How about icing it?
lol. Dwight.” -What’s going on?
-Nothing. Nothing is going on. Oh, the wires need insulation. It’s a wire people. I’m not buying it
a fur coat. “Statistical correlations
exist between EMF radiation and various health hazards, But mainstream studies
are inconclusive.” -You better fix this.
I already ditched my uterus, and I ain’t losing
any more good parts. -You people don’t realize
what you’re asking. I’d have to rip open
the walls. We’d have to shut this place
down for a week. -Week off.
That’d be great. -Ah. There’s my popcorn.
Can you just grab that for me? -Keep your snacks
on your side, Jim. Idiot. What the…?
-What? Some of these kernels
have crowned. -That’s impossible,
’cause that’s a brand-new bag… Oh, my God. -Andy! -Ladies and gentlemen,
I have heard your complaints, and we reached
a settlement. -So, we will be leaving
the office for one whole week. -Nice job. -In my contract,
it is stipulated that I provide
a temporary work space. It will arrive
in one hour. -What? -What’s this? -Bring it in. Roll into the future
with Work Bus. If you’ve got a parking lot, a work space is just
a phone call away. In this age of belt-tightening
and less-empowered workers, a work bus is how tomorrow
gets things done. -I need to get to
the paper, please. -Oh, God!
Oh! Oh, my God! -I’ll get you a napkin.
Can someone get napkins, please? -You know what?
It’s fine. It’s fine. Let me just…
It’s fine. -Pam, I’m really sorry. I’m really sorry about…
all that. Really? Smirking? -What can I say?
I love justice. You forced me to spend money
on needless repairs, and, uh, now, you’re locked
in a prison bus, and your woman
drips with beverage. -Alright. I’m gonna speak in a language
you both understand — mo-nay. -What was it?
-What is it? -It’s money. You both have sizable Christmas
bonuses coming your way. If I catch either of you
messing with the other, I will give both bonuses
to the other person. -Can’t do that.
-No. Absolutely not. -You need consequences, okay? I want you both
walking on eggshells. -Uh, yeah. I just got
my replacement credit card. You want the number?
Oh, it’s, uh, 479300323313. The security code is 927. Okay, great.
Thank you very much. Bye. -So, Dwight did
take the bait. He used my
credit-card numbers to send a $200
bouquet of flowers… to my wife… from me. -[ Laughs ]

Donald Trump’s First 100 Days In Office | Season 28 | THE SIMPSONS


[thunder] [floor creaks] I am not replacing him. [thunderclaps] Don’t think of the suit! [thunderclaps] 100 days in office. So many accomplishments. Lowered my golf handicap. My Twitter following
increased by 700. And finally, we can
shoot hibernating bears, my boys will love that. Sir, here’s a new bill that
you must read immediately. It lowers taxes for
only Republicans. Can Fox News read it and
I’ll watch what they say? Uh, no. You have to read it. [machine whirring] (TV REPORTER): The new
Supreme Court Justice, Yvanka, takes Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s
seat on the bench. You can buy Yvanka’s
robe with gavel earrings for only 1,000 rubles. You said you’d
replace me with Garland. [choking sounds] Oh god, this is horrible! [gulping] This was supposed to
last me the whole four years! Marge, please! Give the President of the
United States some time. He’s only 70 years old. GRANDPA: Help! They’re taking me back
to where I came from! Where’s that? GRANDPA: I don’t remember! (TV REPOTER): 100 days. We are 6.8% of the way home. Paid for by Anybody Else 2020.