Nathan For You – Dumb Starbucks – Open for Business


– WITH OUR SIGN NOW ON DISPLAY,
MY PLAN QUICKLY BEGAN TO WORK, AS PEOPLE STARTED COMING IN THINKING IT WAS
AN ACTUAL STARBUCKS. – OH, DUMB STARBUCKS.
OKAY, OKAY. – OH, YOU THOUGHT
IT WAS STARBUCKS. – I DID. – BUT THE FEW CUSTOMERS WE DID
GET SEEMED TO HAVE TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING WHAT WE WERE
ALL ABOUT. I MEAN, LEGALLY SPEAKING, THIS STORE HAS TO BE CATEGORIZED
AS AN ART GALLERY, SO WE DON’T HAVE TO ABIDE
BY THE SAME HEALTH REGULATIONS AS A STARBUCKS WOULD. I MEAN, WE DON’T WANT ANY OF
OUR CUSTOMERS TO GET SICK. BUT IF THEY DO,
TECHNICALLY, THAT’S PART OF
THE ARTISTIC EXPERIENCE. THINGS WERE OFF
TO AN OKAY START. BUT AS THE DAY PROGRESSED,
I BECAME FRUSTRATED WE WEREN’T GETTING THE AMOUNT
OF CUSTOMERS I EXPECTED. SO I HEADED OUT TO A NEARBY
COFFEE SHOP TO TRY AND SPREAD THE WORD
ABOUT MY NEW BUSINESS. JUST SO YOU KNOW,
THERE’S A DUMB STARBUCKS THAT’S OPENED UP
DOWN THE BLOCK. – OKAY.
– OKAY. IT’S BASICALLY THE SAME COFFEE.
CHEAPER PRICES, AND– – DUMB STARBUCKS?
– YEAH. TODAY, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN HAVE
A FREE COFFEE ON ME. – I UNDERSTAND YOU’RE TRYING
TO PROMOTE YOUR COMPANY. – RIGHT.
– I ADMIRE THAT. BUT THAT’S GREAT.
YOU CAN’T DO IT ON STARBUCKS’ PROPERTY.
– AND I ADMIRE YOU. AND I WILL BE–
– AND EVERY TIME I STEP BACK, YOU KEEP TAKING A STEP FORWARD.
– NO, I HAVEN’T MOVED. – YOU HAVE.
WE STARTED OVER HERE. – NO, WE STARTED RIGHT HERE. – BUT YOU NEED TO WALK THAT WAY.
– OKAY, I WILL. – UNFORTUNATELY, MY MARKETING
EFFORTS WERE CUT SHORT. BUT I WAS AT LEAST ABLE
TO GET SOME FREE SUPPLIES. WITH AN UNDERWHELMING
LAUNCH DAY, I BEGAN TO FEEL LIKE I PUT IN
ALL THIS EFFORT FOR NOTHING. BUT THE NEXT MORNING
THINGS CHANGED. JEREMIAH CALLED ME TO SAY
THERE WAS A LINE OF OVER 15 PEOPLE AT THE STORE. THEN I SAW PHOTOS
OF MY SHOP POSTED ON A STRAIGHT BODY BUILDING
MESSAGE BOARD. BUT I COULDN’T HAVE FORESEEN
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
– A NEW COFFEE SHOP
WITH A FAMILIAR NAME
CREATING QUITE A STIR
IN LOS ANGELES.
THE COFFEE SHOP–GET THIS–
IS CALLED DUMB STARBUCKS.
– THAT LOOKS EXACTLY
LIKE A STARBUCKS.
THE LOGO, THE LETTERING,
THE GREEN COLORING–
HOW DO THEY GET AWAY
WITH THIS?
– BECAUSE THEY PUT THE WORD
“DUMB” ON TOP OF STARBUCKS,
SO THEY’RE PARODYING
STARBUCKS. – A COFFEE CHAIN NOTORIOUS
FOR SUING IMITATORS MAY HAVE FINALLY
MET IT’S MATCH. – AT THE COUNTER, CUSTOMERS
CAN ORDER A “DUMB VENTI” OR BUY A CD
OF “DUMB NORAH JONES DUETS.”
– SOME PEOPLE WAITED IN LINE
FOR UP TO AN HOUR.
– IT’S AN ART GALLERY WHERE
COFFEE IS CONSIDERED ART. – WHAT’S THE POINT OF THE ART?
I MEAN, WHAT’S THE MESSAGE?
– I DON’T KNOW.
– [speaking Spanish] – [speaking Korean] – I WAS STUNNED. WE HAD MORE CUSTOMERS
THAN I EVER DREAMED OF. AND WITHIN 24 HOURS,
DUMB STARBUCKS HAD BECOME
A WORLDWIDE SENSATION. – YEAH, THERE’S ABSOLUTELY
ARTISTIC VALUE HERE.
– TO ME, THIS IS A PROTEST.
THIS IS A PROTEST
AGAINST THE BIG FISH.
THE LEVIATHANS OF STARBUCKS.
– IT WAS COOL THAT PEOPLE
COULD DRAW THEIR OWN MEANING
FROM A BUSINESS THAT
WAS JUST THERE TO MAKE MONEY.
– THERE’S A RUMOR
THAT IT MIGHT BE BANKSY
AND WE’RE ALL REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT THAT. – I HAD INADVERTENTLY
CREATED SOMETHING THAT WAS ON PAR WITH ONE OF
THE WORLD’S GREATEST ARTISTS.
– SOMETHING TIED TO AN ART
INSTALLATION.
MAYBE THIS IS BANKSY.
– BEFORE I KNEW IT,
CUPS FROM MY SHOP
WERE SELLING ON EBAY
FOR $500 A PIECE.
AND SWINDLERS WERE EVEN TRYING
TO CASH IN ON THE HYPE
BY HOCKING FAKE MERCHANDISE
OUTSIDE THE STORE.
BY THE END OF THE WEEKEND
I REALIZED THAT DUMB STARBUCKS
WAS A BIGGER IDEA
THAN I EVER THOUGHT IT COULD BE. SO I GATHERED THE WORLDWIDE
MEDIA TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE WERE EXPANDING. [cheers and applause] HI. I’M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE
THAT WE’LL SOON BE OPENING A SECOND DUMB STARBUCKS LOCATION
IN BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, WITHIN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS. [cheers and applause] MY BUSINESS WAS NOT ONLY
A BONA FIDE SUCCESS, BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE IT FELT LIKE PEOPLE ACTUALLY
WANTED TO BE AROUND ME. WHATEVER I HAD DONE
RESONATED WITH THE ENTIRE WORLD. AND THE ATTENTION
WAS LIKE SUNLIGHT ON MY SOUL.
MY ENTIRE MARKETING PLAN
DEPENDED ON USING
THEIR CORPORATE LOGO
TO GET ATTENTION.
AND THE ONLY WAY TO LEGALLY DO
IT IS BY USING “DUMB.”
– EVERY MAJOR NETWORK IN AMERICA
WANTED TO KNOW MY STORY. – NATHAN FIELDER. – I WAS INVINCIBLE. AND I HAVE TO ADMIT, THE VIEW
FROM THE TOP WAS PRETTY NICE. WE’RE ALSO FAMOUS
FOR OUR PASTRIES. I BROUGHT YOU SOME, ACTUALLY.
– OH, OKAY. YEAH, GREAT. – I BROUGHT SOME
OF OUR PASTRIES, YEAH. – OH, THOSE LOOK GREAT.
[audience laughs] WHAT DO YOU CALL THESE?
ARE THESE THOSE– – I BROUGHT MUFFINS TOO.
– OH, LOOK AT THAT. – THESE ARE OUR FAMOUS PASTRIES.
– ISN’T THAT WEIRD. IT SAYS VONS ON THE SIDE.
[audience laughs] – I WAS ALL SMILES
AND MY HEAD WAS IN THE CLOUDS. THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
REALITY HIT.

Nathan For You – Failed Business Ideas – Extended


– The one thing I’ve
learned over the years is that you can’t be afraid of failing. In fact on my show when I help businesses I fail all the time. I’m normally shy to show those moments but tonight I’m going
to make an exception. So let’s take a look now at
some of my greatest failures. One of my least popular ideas was for a completely germ-free hot dog stand. At outdoor food carts it’s easy for germs to transfer from money to your food so to completely eliminate this I designed a hands-free method to apply
condiments to the wiener. Also, there would be a second employee whose only job is to handle the money. – What are you doing with the wallet? – We’re doing a germ-free experience so you don’t handle your own money. – [Customer] Oh really? – [Nathan Voiceover] But
people were a bit annoyed with the money handling part. – Can I have my wallet back? – And the hands-free onion dispenser proved to be problematic as well. So you have to up, one up one down, and when it hits the table
the onions will fall. – [Cart Owner] Drop it, keep
droppin’ it, up down, drop it. – [Nathan] Harder. Fast. – [Customer] This is not gonna work. – That’s nothing to do
with the contraption, if you drop a hot dog you drop a hot dog. The public just wasn’t ready for the germ-free hot dog experience. So I laid the concept to rest. Next, I had an idea for a tearless way to tell a child that their pet has died, to be an upsell service
for an animal hospital. The concept was to make a video of the pet while it’s still alive telling the child it’s in animal heaven now. I hired the only voice
actor that responded to my Craigslist ad to be the dog, but when we showed it
to the owner’s child– (fanning harp music) – Oh, it’s me, Madi, I’m in heaven now. So sorry I died, I miss you so much. I’m happy here so I’m not coming home. – No, she doesn’t. – No. – Aw. It’s okay. – [Nathan Voiceover] He
hated his dog’s voice. Another flubbed idea. Next, we all hate paying
those pesky ATM fees that charge us up to three dollars for basically doing nothing. So I designed an ATM that
cleans your card during the transaction so you get
something for your money. No transaction fee, just
a card cleaning fee. But my mistake was that
the washing process took almost seven minutes and
people who were in a hurry got a little frustrated. It still surprised me because the machine was doing a thorough job
but even after all that, people still didn’t think
their cards were clean enough. – This is not clean. – That looks cleaner. – No, there’s still dirt right there. – [Nathan Voiceover] People
just weren’t as excited about it as I had hoped. And lastly, my favorite ideas
don’t just help with business, they’re good for the community as well. So I approached a bar
with an innovative way to stop drunks from
getting behind the wheel. The concept was to have a
street magician stationed outside the bar performing a
magic trick that allows him to secretly test the Blood Alcohol Levels of patrons as they leave. And with my background in
magic I offered to test it out. – For my final trick I’m
gonna need your keys. – My keys? – Yes, great, give the wand a blow. (exhales) Okay, a little bit harder,
right into the top. (hollow whistling) Okay, and you are over the legal limit. – [Man] Okay. – Blood Alcohol so your keys are gone and I cannot give them back to you. – Okay. – Sorry. – [Nathan Voiceover] But
that’s when I realized the flaw in my idea. If I held onto his
keys, and he took a cab, the guy couldn’t get into his apartment. – Could I get my keys please? – I can’t because you’re drunk. – Please give me my keys. – [Nathan Voiceover] And the
only solution at that point was to drive him home. – You live far. – I know I do. – [Nathan Voiceover] Also
once I got him home I realized I couldn’t just give him his
keys until he was asleep, or else he might go out and drive again. – You need to see me sleeping? – I need to see you fall
asleep before I leave your keys or else you might take
them and go out again. You don’t brush your teeth before bed? – Usually not, I usually
brush my teeth in the morning. – Really? – Yup. I know it’s kinda gross
but nobody else is really paying attention to the
way my breath smells. – [Nathan Voiceover] So
I had to put him to bed and make sure he went to sleep. ♫ And if that looking glass gets broke ♫ Mama’s gonna get you a billy goat – [Nathan Voiceover]
Before I left his keys. So as you can see, even the
greatest minds fail sometimes. – [Customer] Ohh!